|It's not a knife, but it'll do|
From The Smoking Gun:
MARCH 23--An Ohio middle school student has been charged with assault for a nasty classroom prank that left a fellow student with a sharpened pencil impaled in his buttocks, police say.
The incident Friday morning at the Sailorway Middle School involved two 12-year-old boys attending a choir class, according to a Vermilion Police report.
Cops reported that the victim recalled that “someone put a pencil on his chair before he sat down,” adding that “the pencil impaled into his left buttocks.” The pencil, which pierced the boy’s jeans, went about two inches into his body.
Take that cocksucker, taking my lunch money and shit, now you got a pencil two inches in your ass. Not only is the kid who did this shit suspended for five days from school, but he's being charged with misdeamenor assault. Best ploy to get pussy ever. Now for the rest of this kids middle and high school career, everyone will know not to fuck with him, and the bitches will flock to him like flies on shit.
I mean they won't convict a 12-year-old of the assault charge, and a week off from school? Yes please. This is a pure case of winner winner chicken motherfucking dinner. Just one move to get this kid pussy for the next 6 years, smartest 12-year-old ever. Shit just got real in Social Studies.