NBA Playoffs: Oh What Up Atlanta

Last night the Atlanta Hawks beat the Chicago Bull and Derrick Rose 103-95. Joe Johnson put up 34 and the Hawks were in control for the entire 4th quarter. They looked real good. They shot 51% from the floor and made the Bulls look flat. Box score here.

Johnson is hyped

Every year the Hawks underachieve in my mind. This might be the year they turn it around and make these Eastern Conference playoffs interesting. At the end of the game Rose tweaked his ankle, not a good sign for the Bulls going against a fiercely athletic Atlanta team.

Kobe can't do it alone, even though he thinks he can

The Lakers lost a tight one to the Mavericks last night as well. Dirk threw his team on his back as usual and proved he can do it better than Kobe Bryant. Kobe needs his teammates more than he will admit. Dirk doesn't. He is a fucking animal. He can go down the floor every possession and make it rain. His shot is that good. Kobe had 36 on 29 shots but the Lakers didn't look great down the stretch. Instead of using Bynum and Gasol, they were looking like the old Lakers. Just give it to Kobe and hope to christ we win. I got news for you guys, that isn't going to cut it this year. Box score here.

2011 Maxim Hot 100

Alright, I'm ripping up Maxim's list this year. What the fucking fuck Maxim? I was scrolling through the list, which is here.

The link is also the first bullshit I call on the list. Elisha Cuthbert at 65? Are you fucking kidding me? Raise your hand if you HAVEN'T beat off to her because of the Girl Next Door. Raising your hand? You are a lying sack of shit. She is pure sexiness. I continued on to see what these fucking clowns at Maxim thought was hotter than her.

BOOM

#64 Miley Cyrus - Didn't have to go far at all. My nemesis Miley Cyrus over Cuthbert? I already know the top of this list is going to be fucked worse than Pam Anderson's kiddie pool-sized snatch.

#54 Vanessa Hudgens - Does Disney own Maxim? What the fuck is up with these teenie-bopper ugly chicks getting on the list. I don't think Hudgens is in my top 200. I'd even take poor girls over her. Bullshit.

#45 Emmanuelle Chriqui - Goddamnit at least they got something right. Sloan is the hottest chick on Entourage. Enough said.

#27 former Humpday Hotty Michelle Trachtenberg - Harriet the Spy is grown up. Her tits are too. Another solid call Maxim.

#15 Another former Humpday babe Olivia Wilde - Over Eva Mendes and Megan Fox? I don't know about that, but she should definitely be this close to the top. She shows titties in Alpha Dog. No shit.

#13 Kaley Cuoco, yet another Humpday Hotty - Man I do pretty good for you people. All these top chicks are former hotties.

#9 former Humpday Hotty Cobie Smulders - Alright, here is an over-rated Humpday Hotty I think. Top ten women in the world? Not sure about this one Maxim.

#7 Anne Hathaway - OVER-RATED. She looks kinda goofy even. I'd put her top 50, not even sniffing the top 10. Sorry Anne.

#5 Mila Kunis. I hit the top 5 with a Humpday Hotty. fuck yeah. Mila is fucking top 3 material hands down, let's see who they put above her.

#3 Humpday Hotty Katy Perry

#2 Humpday Hotty Olivia Munn

And Maxim's #1 Hottest Woman of 2011. Is Rosie Huntington-Whitely. Wait, who the fuck is this chick?

She is a Victoria Secret model and is taking over for Megan Fox is the new Transformers. I think that fucking up the #1 pretty much fucks up the whole thing, and I don't think this is a good call at all. Don't get me wrong, she is hot. But #1? I don't think so Maxim. Although her lips look like they were made for one thing... But I bet her acting is worse than Megan Fox, if that's possible.

Well there you have it. I call's em as I see's em and Maxim did okay. We were on the same page with some of our picks but goddamn they fucked up some of that list. The point is we are all celebrating beautiful women.

Miley Cyrus Needs to Go

Alright, it finally has reached the breaking point. I am physically ill. On tour in Ecuador last week Miley Cyrus covered "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana.



Miley, this is why Kurt killed himself. Because of bubblegum pop bullshit wannabe-grunge cum-gargling slutbags who try to be cool by saying "I love Nirvana" blah blah blah. If Kurt Cobain could come back from the death and blow his head off again because of this I know he would. Miley Cyrus is a disgrace to music, Rock in particular. I sincerely hope her next bong hit of Salvia is her last. I am in shock. And disgusted doesn't even scratch the surface of how much I hate Miley Cyrus now. Have a little respect you fucking worthless whore.

Moron Gets onto Field, Gets Broken

Alright if you are going to rush the field at a baseball game, you gotta be ready. You can't just throw your hands up like you are badass. Because then this happens.



Getting on the field is seriousness business man, this is post-dead-Osama. Anyone is a terrorist. They don't fuck around at Fenway.

Flavor Flav Under Arrest

Dude, if you are even semi-rich, why wouldn't you hire a driver? TMZ is reporting that Friday night Flavor Flav got pulled over in Vegas with FOUR outstanding traffic warrants. Spring for the driver bro.

From TMZ: 

Nice mugshot bro

Flavor Flav found himself behind bars in Vegas this weekend ... after the rapper was pulled over for a routine traffic violation ... and the cop noticed there were FOUR warrants out for his arrest.

Las Vegas cops tell us ... Flav -- aka William Jonathan Drayton, Jr. -- was pulled over at 10:57 PM Friday night.

When the cop ran Flav's name in the system, he learned the rapper was a wanted man stemming from several prior brushes with the law.

According to law enforcement, Flav never settled up with the court in 4 separate automobile-related matters -- including driving without proof of insurance, a parking violation and two cases of driving without a license.

We're told Flav was taken to a nearby jail -- where he was booked, posed for a brand new mug shot and was eventually released. 

Maybe Flav is just flat broke and forgot that you actually need a license to drive in the U.S. Surprised he wasn't high on crack.