I was hungry...

until I saw this. Now let me just say I was ahead of the curve on calling McDonald's bluff on they're chicken nuggets being real chicken yadda yadda. Is this what real chicken looks like?! Like what the fuck do you do to a chicken to make it strawberry soft serve? And how the fuck does that turn into a chicken nugget. Fuck.

Sometimes I wonder how dumb America is. Like why couldn't I think of the double-ended jar for peanut butter? Fuckin' a I could be a billionaire. Peret Pan and Jiffy will pay top dollar for this design, or just steal it. The bottom 10% of peanut butter in the jar is how the consumer has been fucked for years. I swear to fucking god I could have come up with this any one of the hundreds of times I've gone to make a PB&J while stoned off my ass. Damnit.

Since we're on the topic of food I'll also say good riddance to the worst marketing campaign in the history of chips.

Even if you don't like Sunchips, by now you've definately heard the deafening, turbine engine style bag they developed because it is 100% compostable. Hey Frito-Lay, newsflash, Americans don't give a flying fuck about the planet, especially composting their bag of chips after it causes they're hearing ability to be impaired to the point where they need a hearing aid after two lunches with these fucking bags. C'mon guys we still go up to the melting ice in the Arctic and club polar bear cubs as they try to climb onto the ice.

Like seriously, all you needed was anyone with a brain in the test groups for these bags instead of tree huggers to know it wasn't going to fly. Like you can picture the left-of-Lenin liberals in the control group, they can't even talk to someone while eating these chips, but at least when you're done the bag will decompose on the pile of shit we all keep in our backyard for fertilizer. Welcome to the future people, no one care. Pick the bag up off the aisle and it sounds like you knocked your smacking your kid repeatedly with a newspaper in the snack food aisle. That sounds fun. Christ. Where is Dennis Leary when you need him?



PS this video obviously took many painstaking hours and I love it so fuck yourself.