When Will I Get Dumped? Facebook Knows!

This graph is from Gizmodo and I find it fascinating AND informative. It shows when people are likely to get dumped throughout the year based on a study of some 10,000 status updates concerning break-ups. Okay well as the graph shows people get dumped everyday, even on Christmas Day (though numbers on that day are lowest of the whole year).

But really the interesting part of this graph is Facebook's power. Facebook owns your soul if you have one, so that blows for you. And we all use it. They can take your information, which they legally own if you post it to their site, as well as pictures, and create all sorts of things. Advertisements based on your likes, graphs like this with stats compiled from Facebook status updates.

The power they hold is what makes it genius. We think of it as "oh I'll put my likes and dislikes, this and that, so people can see more about me because they really care" but all these like buttons and shit allow Facebook to reel in advertising dollars with a fucking dump truck. They have a site where users willingly tell them almost everything about themselves. Dolla Dolla fucking bills y'all. No one on Facebook cares about you, only advertisers trying to sling some stupid fucking product. Sorry.

And to everyone in a relationship out there, for fucks sake have some kind of soul and don't dump someone on Christmas Day. I wish I could see those status updates.

"OMG Johnny dumped me :-(, hegot me an iphone under the tree and texted me that it was over OMG JERK!:-("

And some other weird dates, what the fuck people? Valentines Day? For dumping women that is probably worse than Christmas, they love that pink shit. And then you dump her on the most romantic of days and you know the updates are like this:

"Worst V-Day EVER, got four boxes of chocolates, time to eat until i feel like Star Jones :-(:-(" Come on dudes, have a fucking soul or something. Christ.

And my personal favorite, the graph shows that statistically Mondays are when people get dumped of all weekdays. I hate Mondays anyway and I think combining a shit Monday with getting the boot would probably be the most likely scenario for me to get in the car and start hitting every pedestrian I see. Watch.

But don't worry, you're safe. It is Tuesday after all.