Driving while Masturbating

Would you believe reading the blog title that this was a chick? Didn't think so. I mean I wouldn't put it past a dude to be pulled over with solid wood and a porno blaring on the laptop, but I thought women were better than this. Guess not.

From the Smoking Gun:

APRIL 18--The Cincinnati motorist who was simultaneously masturbating with a sex toy while watching a pornographic video when cops pulled her over last year has pleaded guilty to a drug charge stemming from the bizarre traffic stop, according to court records.

Colondra Hamilton, 36, copped last Thursday to possession of drug paraphernalia in connection with the bizarre August incident. A Municipal Court judge sentenced Hamilton to 10 days in jail, fined her $200, and suspended her driver’s license for six months.

Hamilton was hit with the drug paraphernalia charge after Elmwood Place Police Department officers found a “broken piece of crack pipe” in her purse. Cops had stopped Hamilton because they believed that the windows of her 2008 Pontiac were overly tinted. As part of a plea deal, prosecutors dismissed the tinted window violation and several other minor charges.

According to a police report, when officers approached Hamilton’s vehicle they noticed that her pants were unbuttoned and a sex toy was in her lap. Hamilton, cops reported, “advised that she had been using it [the vibrator] while watching a video on the computer the passenger was holding.” Investigators did not further identify the video, though they have said it was of the X-rated variety.



Jesus, there was a passenger?! The fuck? Yeah sure I'll hold the computer so you can get your vibe on while driving and being a crackhead. That seems safe. But wait, how can you redeem yourself from a weirdo traffic stop like this? Get arrested again.


The multitasking Hamilton’s problems, though, did not end with her April 14 misdemeanor plea. She was arrested yesterday on theft charges for allegedly swiping merchandise (cleaning items, an air mattress, and a Blu-Ray player) from a Fairfax, Ohio Walmart on three separate occasions this month.
Hamilton is pictured above in a Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office mug shot taken early Sunday morning.

When she was arrested for stealing from Walmart was she fingering her snatch too? I tell you this woman is a certified freak. Not much to look at and crackhead to boot. But I want a reaction shot of the cop when he walked up to her window and noticed she'd been petting her kitty to porn while driving. It'd be pure internet gold.