Two and Half Men Train Wreck

So I don't know how I fucked this one up. It came out about three days ago that Ashton Kutcher has been hired for a new "undisclosed" role on Two and a Half Men.

From USA Today:
CBS and Warner Bros., which produces the show, today will announce that Kutcher will fill a new, undisclosed role in a one-year deal for the show's ninth season, expected to consist of about 24 episodes. Men's future was in jeopardy when Sheen was fired earlier this year after a history of substance abuse, erratic behavior and public tirades against his bosses.

Kutcher had this to say about replacing Charlie Sheen.

"I can't wait to get to work with this ridiculously talented 2.5 team, and I believe we can fill the stage with laughter that will echo in viewers' homes," Kutcher said in a statement. "I can't replace Charlie Sheen, but I'm going to work my ass off to entertain the hell out of people!"


With this move, CBS is officially killing Two and a Half Men. Ashton Kutcher? Kelso? Really? Is he going to play Charlie's retarded illegitimate son who inherits the house when Charlie has a heart attack in an orgy with twenty women trying to break the Guiness Book of World Record for most consecutive rounds of coitus? Shit, they should hire my ass to write for that dumb show.

Douche alert

But seriously, this little stunt will make it through the first season tops. I'm thinking they will get through about 10 episodes and pull the show.

The glory that was Two and a Half Men wasn't just in the Warlock himself. It was how he interacted with everyone. He's a horrible influence on Jake, a torment to Allen, and then there is Berta.

The only American to win in Vietnam

I just think when I sit down to watch the new show, I'm going to wonder what the Warlock id doing right now (obviously bi or tri-winning) and just shut it off. Ashton there is a reason why every other male actor passed on this role. This show is fucked with Charlie. You better get a fat paycheck for that one year because it's all you are getting.