Hatin' on Spongebob

Alright well apparently researchers these days have nothing better to do than rip Spongebob. In the interests of full disclosure, I love motherfucking Spongebob. It's hilarious. If you don't think so then you are probably too low when you watch it.

Maybe for kids, still funny

From Newser:

(Newser) – He lives in a pineapple under the sea, and apparently he poses a threat to your kid’s attention span. Researchers showed one group of children a nine-minute SpongeBob SquarePants segment; another group watched a clip of the same length of an educational PBS show called Caillou; a third spent the time drawing. Then scientists tested the focusing abilities of each group of 4-year-olds. SpongeBob viewers' "ability to stay on task, to not be distracted" was significantly worse than that of the other two groups. 

“Most parents worry too much about how much TV their children watch and not enough about what they watch,” said a pediatrician. “It’s not about turning the TV off. It’s about changing the channel.” But a Nickelodeon rep points out that the show is aimed at 6- to 11-year-olds, not the 4-year-olds in the study, who “are clearly not the intended demographic,” Today reports.

First things first, Spongebob is aimed at kids ages 6 to 11? The fuck. I'm pretty sure the actual demographics are 8-year-olds and high teenagers. Anyway. The first problem I see here is testing the "focusing ability" of 4-year-olds. I mean come the fuck on. When I was 4 if you could get me to sit down for three minutes I had to be on a half-bottle of Tylenol PM. Seriously.


The problem these days is that kids do watch too much TV. I mean when we were kids your parents would negotiate TV time. It was like "you get thirty minutes of TV after you play outside for 6 hours." And so you play outside all fucking day getting into some serious play-time shit. Then you come in an get like 22.8 minutes of TV time. So you enjoy the fuck out of that one show. Kids these days don't know how lucky they are to have Spongebob. Fuckers should pay attention when they watch. Ungrateful fucks.