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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Loser of the Week: 8/29

Alright the loser of the week this week isn't a dude falling off a grind rail and crushing his balls. He didn't shug hot sauce in a dorm room and then boot on a hot chick. All he did was find $150,000. But then he turned it in.

From Newser:
(Newser) – Wayne Sabaj went into his backyard garden looking for broccoli and found $150,000 instead. The unemployed and very honest Illinois carpenter—fearing the cash packed into two duffel bags might have come from a bank robbery—alerted police to the discovery.

Investigators have been unable to find the source of the cash, and have left a note in the spot where it was found. Sabaj, 49, may get to keep the money if it goes unclaimed for a year—but he says he's not holding his breath. "I don't even think I'll get it back, and even if I do, the government's just going to take a third of it back," he tells ABC. "You just can't worry about it." 

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Look, I'm not some money-grubbing sneaky fuck. But let me tell you right now that if bags of cash were in my garden, I would employ the old finder's keeper's rule. I mean bank robbery or no, banks have fucking insurance bro. Nobody would come back for the cash. If you are desperate enough to throw out $150,000 into some dudes backyard then I'm going to guess you have some pressing things to get to. I would have kept that shit in two seconds. Now you have to wait a year for it to go unclaimed and then Uncle Sam takes a cut. Fucking loser.

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