Soda Leads to Violence, For Real?

From NY Daily News:
Researchers believe they’ve found a "shocking" association -- if only a statistical one -- between violence by teenagers and the amount of soda they drank.

High-school students in inner-city Boston who consumed more than five cans of non-diet, fizzy soft drinks every week were between nine and 15-percent likelier to engage in an aggressive act compared with counterparts who drank less.

"What we found was that there was a strong relationship between how many soft drinks that these inner-city kids consumed and how violent they were, not only in violence against peers but also violence in dating relationships, against siblings," said David Hemenway, a professor at the Harvard School of Public Health.

What the fucking fuck is this bullshit? Drinking soda makes you violent? Alright Harvard guy just because you work at a nerd college doesn't mean you can slip one by me.

 

Soda, excuse for every wife-beater growing up today

 

Like I know that obviously kids are all sugared up all the time. But saying a kid who drinks soda is more violent than a student who drinks juice is just too much of a fucking stretch. Why don't we do a study on how fruit consumption affects violence? I mean for fuck's sake. What a waste of money for this study.

What they meant to say was that kids who drink soda are 15% more likely to win the fight because they are all hopped up on sugar and shit.

I mean take me for instance. I'm so fucking small and skinny I can't do shit to anyone. I'm as non-violent as they come. And I drink soda like its my fucking job. Two Mountain Dews before bed? Sounds good to me. I'm just a soda guy, and I haven't been violent at all lately, I did kill a hooker last week, but it was accidental.