You know the elections today people. Get out and vote. I'm not like old people who say you have to vote it's your right. It IS also our right to refuse to vote, but don't not vote because you're lazy. I'm talking to you fuckhead. The only reason to not vote is if none of the candidates accurately represent how you feel. Do what I'm doing, vote Green Party.
And as P Diddy says "Shake them titties when you vote, bitch"
Sports, Music, Pop Culture, Philosophy and whatever else I can think of to write about
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
When Will I Get Dumped? Facebook Knows!
This graph is from Gizmodo and I find it fascinating AND informative. It shows when people are likely to get dumped throughout the year based on a study of some 10,000 status updates concerning break-ups. Okay well as the graph shows people get dumped everyday, even on Christmas Day (though numbers on that day are lowest of the whole year).
But really the interesting part of this graph is Facebook's power. Facebook owns your soul if you have one, so that blows for you. And we all use it. They can take your information, which they legally own if you post it to their site, as well as pictures, and create all sorts of things. Advertisements based on your likes, graphs like this with stats compiled from Facebook status updates.
The power they hold is what makes it genius. We think of it as "oh I'll put my likes and dislikes, this and that, so people can see more about me because they really care" but all these like buttons and shit allow Facebook to reel in advertising dollars with a fucking dump truck. They have a site where users willingly tell them almost everything about themselves. Dolla Dolla fucking bills y'all. No one on Facebook cares about you, only advertisers trying to sling some stupid fucking product. Sorry.
And to everyone in a relationship out there, for fucks sake have some kind of soul and don't dump someone on Christmas Day. I wish I could see those status updates.
"OMG Johnny dumped me :-(, hegot me an iphone under the tree and texted me that it was over OMG JERK!:-("
And some other weird dates, what the fuck people? Valentines Day? For dumping women that is probably worse than Christmas, they love that pink shit. And then you dump her on the most romantic of days and you know the updates are like this:
"Worst V-Day EVER, got four boxes of chocolates, time to eat until i feel like Star Jones :-(:-(" Come on dudes, have a fucking soul or something. Christ.
And my personal favorite, the graph shows that statistically Mondays are when people get dumped of all weekdays. I hate Mondays anyway and I think combining a shit Monday with getting the boot would probably be the most likely scenario for me to get in the car and start hitting every pedestrian I see. Watch.
But don't worry, you're safe. It is Tuesday after all.
But really the interesting part of this graph is Facebook's power. Facebook owns your soul if you have one, so that blows for you. And we all use it. They can take your information, which they legally own if you post it to their site, as well as pictures, and create all sorts of things. Advertisements based on your likes, graphs like this with stats compiled from Facebook status updates.
The power they hold is what makes it genius. We think of it as "oh I'll put my likes and dislikes, this and that, so people can see more about me because they really care" but all these like buttons and shit allow Facebook to reel in advertising dollars with a fucking dump truck. They have a site where users willingly tell them almost everything about themselves. Dolla Dolla fucking bills y'all. No one on Facebook cares about you, only advertisers trying to sling some stupid fucking product. Sorry.
And to everyone in a relationship out there, for fucks sake have some kind of soul and don't dump someone on Christmas Day. I wish I could see those status updates.
"OMG Johnny dumped me :-(, hegot me an iphone under the tree and texted me that it was over OMG JERK!:-("
And some other weird dates, what the fuck people? Valentines Day? For dumping women that is probably worse than Christmas, they love that pink shit. And then you dump her on the most romantic of days and you know the updates are like this:
"Worst V-Day EVER, got four boxes of chocolates, time to eat until i feel like Star Jones :-(:-(" Come on dudes, have a fucking soul or something. Christ.
And my personal favorite, the graph shows that statistically Mondays are when people get dumped of all weekdays. I hate Mondays anyway and I think combining a shit Monday with getting the boot would probably be the most likely scenario for me to get in the car and start hitting every pedestrian I see. Watch.
But don't worry, you're safe. It is Tuesday after all.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Welcome Back Moss?
Okay so I think it's safe to say the Vikings organization is falling apart.
After this press conference after Sunday's game, this morning Moss was cut by the Vikings after giving up a third round draft pick for him a few weeks ago. More here @ ESPN Boston. His frustration could step from the fact that reportedly the coaching staff in Minnesota did not take into consideration Moss' insight into some of the Patriot's schemes before Sunday's loss. Moss had one catch for eight yards in the game.
Wherever he goes, the point is the Viking implosion. Favre is the walking wounded, now gashed in the jaw AND with a broken foot, give him two weeks and he'll have to be carted to the huddle every down.
Now if every other team in the NFL passes on him, the Pats will be able to pick Moss up off waivers. After his confessed his love for New England in the after game press conference, it might not be a stretch to say Randy will don the blue and red for next week.
After this press conference after Sunday's game, this morning Moss was cut by the Vikings after giving up a third round draft pick for him a few weeks ago. More here @ ESPN Boston. His frustration could step from the fact that reportedly the coaching staff in Minnesota did not take into consideration Moss' insight into some of the Patriot's schemes before Sunday's loss. Moss had one catch for eight yards in the game.
Wherever he goes, the point is the Viking implosion. Favre is the walking wounded, now gashed in the jaw AND with a broken foot, give him two weeks and he'll have to be carted to the huddle every down.
Now if every other team in the NFL passes on him, the Pats will be able to pick Moss up off waivers. After his confessed his love for New England in the after game press conference, it might not be a stretch to say Randy will don the blue and red for next week.
Zach Galifan- Whatever the Fuck is My Hero
Okay so let me start by saying The Hangover was a funny ass movie. I liked it a lot. I think this Galifianakis is just riding the Seth Rogen trend, goofy stoner fat guy is pretty in right now.
But that being said I love Bill Maher. And Real Time. He is hilarious and is one of the only political analysts who I think actually calls it not only how he sees it, but how I see it. He is openly liberal on marijuana, and during Galifianakis' appearance it finally happened, they smoked weed on the show. It was awesome, and Bill has never had the stones to do this himself, but Galifianakis did, I applaud you sir.
Save your money Zach, the stoned fat guy surely won't last, but this is still a gem and actually a serious milestone for the marijuana legalization effort. Stoners unite!
But that being said I love Bill Maher. And Real Time. He is hilarious and is one of the only political analysts who I think actually calls it not only how he sees it, but how I see it. He is openly liberal on marijuana, and during Galifianakis' appearance it finally happened, they smoked weed on the show. It was awesome, and Bill has never had the stones to do this himself, but Galifianakis did, I applaud you sir.
Save your money Zach, the stoned fat guy surely won't last, but this is still a gem and actually a serious milestone for the marijuana legalization effort. Stoners unite!
Going Off the Grid
Okay so its a shit Monday, time for some day dreaming. We've all probably thought about it at least once or twice in our lives. Make a Kerouac like departure from society and go "off the grid." In this day an age it is easier said than done.
Apparently this book is the How-To guide to disappear from the map, but I know you don't read, you probably already stopped reading this when you found out there wasn't a funny video involved.
This article from life hacker is what we're working with, I'll editorialize as necessary.
First off they recommend "How Not to Disappear." Don't be overly dramatic. This is some fluff and bullshit if I've ever heard it. You think the average joe who wants to separate himself from society is going to stage his death in some crazy way or pull off some Mission Impossible stealing of a helicopter or something? Christ, I got a backpack full of weed, a coat and a wallet, I'm not MacGyver.I'm just going to hop on a bus.
The next step is obvious, they call it "minimize social connections," I call it "get off the fucking internet." With Facebook and Twitter and eighty other ways for people to get hold of each other, you have to stop this shit first. Delete the old Facebook, after you're done crying say goodbye to Twitter, even your favorite bloggers. The idea here is the less presence you have on the internet, the harder it is to get in touch with you.
A lot of the article deals with evading "skip tracers" or investigators hired to find you. We'll skip this bullshit since you and I are dropping off the map to lead simple lives, not because we uncovered a Government conspiracy and now the CIA is after us. This isn't a movie, its real life.
The next step is fairly easy, but a hard thing for Americans to do especially. Use cash, that's right, little stacks of paper that sit in your hand and you trade for goods or services. Ditch all your credit cards and useless plastic. They say to set up a corporation through a lawyer to handle purchasing of things in your new life, this is actually a fairly good idea, but I hate lawyers and so does everyone else so unless you have one in the family I say fuck it.
The main ingredient to jumping off the grid is a plan, and a will to see it through. You want to sell everything and leave in a weed co op in California? Then do it, too many people are afraid to do something other than the good old societal track, school job marriage kids, death. Sounds like anything but fun to me.
I would recommend doing something like this at least once to aspiring writers. I plan on doing it myself someday. Because the time spent alone with one's thoughts are the best times to learn about yourself and the world. Instead of sitting on Twitter all day waiting to see Brett Favre's cock pictures.
In short if you are ever an international fugitive this article and this book should be like your bible. Trust its authority regardless of how ridiculous it may seem. If you're just looking to drop off the grid and take a deep breath from a world of Facebook and depressing news and mind numbing politics, then come up with a plan, and like Phil Knight would say, just do it.
Apparently this book is the How-To guide to disappear from the map, but I know you don't read, you probably already stopped reading this when you found out there wasn't a funny video involved.
This article from life hacker is what we're working with, I'll editorialize as necessary.
First off they recommend "How Not to Disappear." Don't be overly dramatic. This is some fluff and bullshit if I've ever heard it. You think the average joe who wants to separate himself from society is going to stage his death in some crazy way or pull off some Mission Impossible stealing of a helicopter or something? Christ, I got a backpack full of weed, a coat and a wallet, I'm not MacGyver.I'm just going to hop on a bus.
The next step is obvious, they call it "minimize social connections," I call it "get off the fucking internet." With Facebook and Twitter and eighty other ways for people to get hold of each other, you have to stop this shit first. Delete the old Facebook, after you're done crying say goodbye to Twitter, even your favorite bloggers. The idea here is the less presence you have on the internet, the harder it is to get in touch with you.
A lot of the article deals with evading "skip tracers" or investigators hired to find you. We'll skip this bullshit since you and I are dropping off the map to lead simple lives, not because we uncovered a Government conspiracy and now the CIA is after us. This isn't a movie, its real life.
The next step is fairly easy, but a hard thing for Americans to do especially. Use cash, that's right, little stacks of paper that sit in your hand and you trade for goods or services. Ditch all your credit cards and useless plastic. They say to set up a corporation through a lawyer to handle purchasing of things in your new life, this is actually a fairly good idea, but I hate lawyers and so does everyone else so unless you have one in the family I say fuck it.
The main ingredient to jumping off the grid is a plan, and a will to see it through. You want to sell everything and leave in a weed co op in California? Then do it, too many people are afraid to do something other than the good old societal track, school job marriage kids, death. Sounds like anything but fun to me.
I would recommend doing something like this at least once to aspiring writers. I plan on doing it myself someday. Because the time spent alone with one's thoughts are the best times to learn about yourself and the world. Instead of sitting on Twitter all day waiting to see Brett Favre's cock pictures.
In short if you are ever an international fugitive this article and this book should be like your bible. Trust its authority regardless of how ridiculous it may seem. If you're just looking to drop off the grid and take a deep breath from a world of Facebook and depressing news and mind numbing politics, then come up with a plan, and like Phil Knight would say, just do it.
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