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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

2011 Maxim Hot 100

Alright, I'm ripping up Maxim's list this year. What the fucking fuck Maxim? I was scrolling through the list, which is here.

The link is also the first bullshit I call on the list. Elisha Cuthbert at 65? Are you fucking kidding me? Raise your hand if you HAVEN'T beat off to her because of the Girl Next Door. Raising your hand? You are a lying sack of shit. She is pure sexiness. I continued on to see what these fucking clowns at Maxim thought was hotter than her.

BOOM

#64 Miley Cyrus - Didn't have to go far at all. My nemesis Miley Cyrus over Cuthbert? I already know the top of this list is going to be fucked worse than Pam Anderson's kiddie pool-sized snatch.

#54 Vanessa Hudgens - Does Disney own Maxim? What the fuck is up with these teenie-bopper ugly chicks getting on the list. I don't think Hudgens is in my top 200. I'd even take poor girls over her. Bullshit.

#45 Emmanuelle Chriqui - Goddamnit at least they got something right. Sloan is the hottest chick on Entourage. Enough said.

#27 former Humpday Hotty Michelle Trachtenberg - Harriet the Spy is grown up. Her tits are too. Another solid call Maxim.

#15 Another former Humpday babe Olivia Wilde - Over Eva Mendes and Megan Fox? I don't know about that, but she should definitely be this close to the top. She shows titties in Alpha Dog. No shit.

#13 Kaley Cuoco, yet another Humpday Hotty - Man I do pretty good for you people. All these top chicks are former hotties.

#9 former Humpday Hotty Cobie Smulders - Alright, here is an over-rated Humpday Hotty I think. Top ten women in the world? Not sure about this one Maxim.

#7 Anne Hathaway - OVER-RATED. She looks kinda goofy even. I'd put her top 50, not even sniffing the top 10. Sorry Anne.

#5 Mila Kunis. I hit the top 5 with a Humpday Hotty. fuck yeah. Mila is fucking top 3 material hands down, let's see who they put above her.

#3 Humpday Hotty Katy Perry

#2 Humpday Hotty Olivia Munn

And Maxim's #1 Hottest Woman of 2011. Is Rosie Huntington-Whitely. Wait, who the fuck is this chick?

She is a Victoria Secret model and is taking over for Megan Fox is the new Transformers. I think that fucking up the #1 pretty much fucks up the whole thing, and I don't think this is a good call at all. Don't get me wrong, she is hot. But #1? I don't think so Maxim. Although her lips look like they were made for one thing... But I bet her acting is worse than Megan Fox, if that's possible.


Well there you have it. I call's em as I see's em and Maxim did okay. We were on the same page with some of our picks but goddamn they fucked up some of that list. The point is we are all celebrating beautiful women.

1 comment:

  1. As funny as these comments are you do realize that the list is not to be taken seriously? I mean it's mostly for publicity and also so people can talk about who should or shouldn't be on the list. I knew a girl that modeled for maxim and she was on their list but like in the 90s and she was just a regular hot girl. I mean Anne Hathaway is pretty but is she really the 7th prettiest girl in the world? I know ten girls hotter in NYC, including myself. But we aren't famous so no one knows who we are. :-) I think people apply for the list or their publicists do. A lot of unknown models do maxim for exposure, though it ruins real careers for serious models but then they apply for the hot 100 like some of the hometown hotties chicks.

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