Asteroids Are Smarter than Us

So the other day I was randomly talking with a bro about how if an asteroid was heading to earth we would try to nuke the shit out of it and then send in Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and company to try and fuck it's day up. It worked before.

But now apprently scientists are finding out that an asteroid is way smarter than us.

From PopSci:
Pop quiz. An asteroid the size of Manhattan is hurtling towards Earth, its impact is sure to result in mass extinction and the destruction of humanity as we know it. What do you do? 

The traditional answers would be "blow it up". But new research from Los Alamos National Lab and the University of California, Santa Cruz, shows that if the asteroid isn't moving fast enough, or if the nuke isn't big enough, the asteroid will pull itself back together, T-1000-style, within a matter of hours.
According to the new simulations, the gravitational attraction between the various asteroid parts is strong enough to reconstitute a 3,281-foot-in-diameter asteroid in between 2 to 18 hours. To blow up the asteroid thoroughly enough to prevent its recombination, you would need a nuclear weapon with a yield of 900 kilotons -- which, luckily, is well within the range of current hydrogen bombs. 

However, the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs was ten times larger than that, meaning it reform much faster after being nuked. So rather than blowing up the asteroid directly, many scientists advocate blowing the nuke up next to the asteroid. That explosion could shove the rock out of the way of Earth, without creating dangerous smaller meteorites or allowing it to come back together. 

 That's right motherfuckers, scientists now think that an asteroid can pull itself back together after being nuked apart. If this isn't some cosmic signal that we are fucked I don't know what is. I mean maybe the backup plan of blowing up the nuke near it to knock if off course would work, but if the motherfucker can pull itself back together, who knows what else it can do? Space rocks are smarter than us and I for one am ready for imminent Armageddon. But there is always Bruce Willis.