From the Doghouse to the Penthouse: Michael Vick

Okay so as we all know and have been hearing about for the past few days. Everyone is sucking on Mike Vick's nuts. Hard. Now don't get me wrong, I love Vick and even when the dogfighting bull came out it didn't stop him from being a freak athlete.

I love dogs, a lot. But I mean come on, people in the NFL have killed people (cough cough Ray Lewis) and regularly do stupid shit. DWI's, domestic abuse, you name it, the NFL players have done it. So after being so hard on Vick it only fits that now everyone has hopped aboard his nuts.

Mmm yeah gargle them nuts bitches

Monday night against the Redskins he went fucking insane. Peep the box score here.

So lets break down the performance that has the knee-jerk reaction based media calling him an MVP candidate.


First off he passes for 333 yards on 20/28 attempts. Yessir, he ripped the skin's defense a new one.
 4 passing TD's.
But wait, Michael Vick also has legs that work, amazingly well.
He ran 8 times for 80 yards and two rushing TD's. He was the #3 rusher in the game as far as yards and tied Keillan Williams who also had 2 rushing TD's.
Vick threw 0 picks as well.

Take a peek at the video, skip around to the good stuff.


Now, evaluating Vicks performance in a logical way. We see this is the best fucking game of his career hands down. Washington couldn't do shit but watch while he ass fucked them like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was back on the air.

Now everyone is talking about "Vick for MVP" and thinking he's amazing. Look, I love the guy, I think he is one of the best athletes in NFL history. But MVP? You honestly think that's in the cards? He's bound to throw a couple picks, and I'll say it now this is his game of the year, he wont put up a game like this for the remainder of the season. It's just not going to happen. No one can be that productive. Look at Peyton Manning or Phillip Rivers. They put up stupid-good numbers week in and out, and Vick is not that caliber of quarterback. He just isn't.

I do give you props though Vick, you got the national media on your nuts like a meth-binging pornstar, congrats. And goddamn if he does keep this production out, he is going to kill the NFL like a dog that lost a $10,000 fight. What? Too Soon? Nah.