Playboy's Top Ten Party Schools

Now I feel like there are tons of lists of party schools out there, but who are you going to believe? For my money Playboy knows whats up with parties.

He knows a good party when he sees one

#1 UC Boulder - Alright well we all know this is where the most weed is smoked in the U.S. That's right L.A. I said it, Colorado knows how to fuckin' party.

#2 Penn State University - This one I don't get. I mean who the fuck goes to Pennsylvania to have fun? Maybe it's just so boring all you can do is get fucked up.

#3 Arizona State - The perennial party power. Fucking campus like South Beach and tons of hot chicks to boot. Alcoholism is a minor, no joke.

#4 University of Western Ontario - All I know about this school is it is a top Canadian research school. They must be researching weed, booze, and coke to make this list. I respect Canada representing on the party list though. Hockey season they get buckwild.

#5 U Texas at Austin - Fuck Texas.

#6 University of Wisconsin - Big ass school. Sick sports teams, tons of kids. Recipe for party central.

#7 Georgia - See #6.

Go Bulldogs

#8 U Tennessee Knoxville - I don't get this one, maybe everyone just does tons of bathtub meth and goes nuts. That's the only drug they have in Tennessee besides moonshine right?

#9 University of Central Florida - UCF coming in above Florida U. Awesome, fuck the gators.

#10 U Cal Santa Barbara - Where do you go when you're a Calfironia bum who's stupid as shit and loves getting fucked up? UC Santa Barbara. Enough said.

Well Playboy, I respect the list but next time you gotta include concrete reasons. Send reporters (me) from school to school partying and documenting which parties are the best and why. Maybe in UCF you do lines off a cheerleaders tits. And In Ontario you go to a rave where they are passing out E like Skittles and fucking all night. Concrete shit like that. I will volunteer for such duty. For the good of the people.