Man Issues: Boxers or Briefs

Alright well I was just running some errands, one of which was to pick up some boxer briefs. Why? Because all I have ever worn in my life are boxers and I wanted to see what the difference was.

Cock prisons or needed support?

The thing I love about boxers is free-ballin'. Your junk gets to move into any position it wants to be in with no restrictions. It is a very freeing feeling.

But at work my junk gets all kinds of fucked from me running around with my dong and balls slapping around in there while I'm serving the assholes of America. It's not that fun. So I figured the mature thing to do would be to grow the fuck up and cop some briefs.
It has now been about twenty minutes since I threw on my Tommy boxer briefs in the TJ Maxx parking lot and I have mixed feelings.

First and foremost, my genitals have never been more restricted in my life. I played sports when I was younger, so I'm used to rocking compression shorts and a cup and all that shit. But this is casual wear. And it is hugging my dick tighter than Bree Olsen's Dyson vacuum mouth.

But these things give you a little pocket in the front where your cock can just chill out. Around it is very tight, so your nuts are kept from dangling everywhere but all in all it's pretty fucking comfortable.

One problem I noticed right off the bat was no hole for my cock to piss from. In boxers you have a little slit with maybe a button where you can yank your shit out and piss when necessary. But in these tight things what the fuck do I do? Roll up to a urinal and just pull 'em down and whip my dick out over the top of them? I can see awkward days ahead people, but at least I'm trying to be a grown-up. I don't know if I'll throw away the boxers quite yet, but maybe go half-and-half.

And to the ladies all I have to say is you guys are fucked as far as underwear choices. If you wear what's comfortable everyone calls you a grandma. The "sexiest" underwear for women is essentially a long pic of my dental floss tied to another one. Like underwear really makes that much of a difference anyway. I say women, boycott the thong! Bring back granny panties!