Salute to a Playa: Nick Lachey

Okay just humor me here. In 2002 Former 98 Degrees star Nick Lachey married Jessica Simpson, at the time one of the hottest women on earth. Then he got a TV gig about how dumb but hot she is. Which was damn smart because my blog gets viewed more times a day than either of his solo albums have sold to date. When they got engaged she was 21 and slamming, and he was on the cusp of being irrelevant. How many guys can say their first stroke of genius was their first marriage? Name three.

which ones the genius? Duh

I'd wifey that

Ok so now, obviously, in 2006 the couple gets divorced. Her stupidity probably started to overtake her downslide in hotness. His instincts kick in, and a playa's gotta play right? Smart move again Nick. Oh wait, then you start dating Vanessa Minnillo? Touche sir.

So he trades up, classic Hollywood playa move. Wife getting uglier? Trade her in for the newer model. Now apparently the two are engaged. Here we go again, Nick Lachey being genius, wifeying up the new sexy chick. Smart man indeed. I'm sure in three years they'll get divorced and he'll be throwing his hat into the Miley Cyrus ring. Smart guys don't stop, they keep trading down until they're eighty in a wheelchair dating a 24 year old starlet cokehead. Next time you think about shitting on boy bands, and granted they have some really dumb alumni, remember the shining player genius that is, Nick Lachey.

In the article Vanessa also talks about showering with Nick twice daily. That is a true playa. Your chick knows that at 8am and 8pm we're getting in the shower, getting clean, and fucking. Laying down the law, true sign of a pro player. We salute you Nick.