The Big 2-1

21st birthdays are probably the strangest tradition ever for Americans. It's the one tradition where the celebration involves trying to kill the person celebrating their birthday. Think about it.

Today I turn 21 and all my friends are going to try to give me alcohol poisoning. They might even succeed, and it will be awesome. But I won't remember any of it and I will probably be puking every five minutes for 4 hours tomorrow. And somehow I will be officially inducted into the world of legal drinking. The only way it will really be a failure is if I get fired from my job for puking on a customer, or if I die. Any other outcome is success.

So just in case I don't make it to tomorrow, thanks to all my readers. And if you are in Saratoga tonight, come try to kill me with alcohol.

Eat a Dick Shark Week

Look at this shit. A fisherman off the coast of Chatham on Cape Cod jumps onto the back of a passing shark.




You think you're tough Shark week dudes? This is how we roll on the Cape. Fucking piggy-backs on monster sharks all day.

Old Dude Fight

I don't even know what to make of this. I mean these dudes are so weak when they connect with punches it doesn't even affect the other guy.




Old people are useless.

The Sitter Trailer

 A babysitting movie with Jonah Hill. It looks like it's going to be hilarious.

More The Sitter Videos

Professor Kills Himself During Class

Just think about when you were in college. And imagine that you witnessed this bizarre scene one morning as class starts.

From the Huffington Post:
PHILADELPHIA -- Police say a Philadelphia college professor killed himself by diving over a second-floor railing inside a campus building during class.

The newspaper says the 71-year-old professor walked out of his class Wednesday, returned briefly, yelled and then ran to a second-floor railing outside the classroom. Police say campus security was summoned and Alexandrov dived over the railing and hit the floor, some 20 to 30 feet below.

Lt. Robert Zaffino, a Philadelphia detective, says Alexandrov had had a history of depression and had been having suicidal thoughts.

The private four-year college did not cancel classes but made counselors available to students.

This shit is fucking crazy. What a shitty way to get a class off. I mean how the fuck do you react to your professor leaping over a railing and falling to road-pizza? I would just start drinking. What else can you do?