Anyone can leave comments on stories you read, let me know what you like and what you don't, this is a blog for the people. Use your power!

email me @ beatblathering@gmail.com

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Stolen Rubber Vagina

From the Smoking Gun:
AUGUST 29--A week has passed and police have yet to make an arrest in the crash-and-grab theft of an $800 Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 3 Mega Masturbator from an Ohio sex shop.
Lorain County Sheriff’s Office investigators are still hunting for the man who last Monday used a stolen tractor to open the rear doors to the Adultmart in Brownhelm Township.

Surveillance video revealed that after “busting the doors apart” around 2:25 AM, a white male perpetrator wearing a royal blue hoodie ran in and swiped the masturbator, according to an amusing sheriff’s report.
The subject, deputies noted, “then left in an unknown direction of travel” with the masturbator, which its manufacturer, Pipedream Products, describes as “over 20 lbs. of legs, ass & pussy!!”

Alright I knew they had things like fleshlights and shit to stick your dick in. But this is too fucking much. An $800 replica pussy, ass and legs? Talk about the fucking creepiest thing to put your dick in ever. What's that in your cloest man? Just my lower torso of a female that I fuck every day. Okay bro. What the fuck.

And if you are going to break into a store and steal something, why this? What the fuck. Charlie Sheen must be on the rock again.

Fucking weirdos

Oh and don't get me wrong. Fleshlights are motherfucking creepy too.

Rum Diary Trailer

The Rum Diary was Hunter S. Thompson's first piece about his time in the Caribbean. Johnny Depp is going to play the famed journalist again. This one looks a little less trippy than Fear and Loathing. But hopefully it'll be just as good.

Asshole Cat

This shit reminds me of the elementary school playground.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The VMA's

I just stopped watching the MTV Video Music Awards and one fucking thing has been bothering me for the past ten minutes. Lil' Wayne performed and as usual gave a suspect performance. Dude just yells and hops around for five minutes then says Young money and leaves. Sweet dude. But what really pissed me off is at the end of the performance he picks up a guitar, strums it about three times like he actually did something, and throws it to the ground like he just killed a sick solo. Dude, are you really trying to act like you play guitar?

It is just one in the list of things that made this year's VMA's shitty. That Adele chick looked like she was going to have a heart attack while she sang some song no one knows. Justin Beiber won an award and looked like a serious douche. Lady Gaga basically came out that she's really a dude and got denied a kiss from Britney Spears. Same old same. At least Tyler the Creator won an award.

Cool enough for Katie Holmes to say she wants to run away from him. Compared to her fruitcake hubby Tyler is probably looking pretty good to her straight-laced ass.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Smithgate Update: Carlton Gives the "All Good"

Here's a link to a TMZ interview with Alfonso Ribeiro AKA Carlton Banks. In the interview he claims that Will and Jada aren't having marriage problems. Personally I think he's just backing up his boy. But really they should roll through Marc Anthony's crib and fuck his day up Fresh Prince style. And bring DJ Jazzy Jeff too.

The interview.

If this guy says it's all good, everything must be shit.
I'm just saying Big Will, I got your back against that two-bit whore and that latin rat-faced punk.

Loser of the Week: 8/22

Alright this is a video of some soccer game in Argentina. White team goes after the ref, same old same. But look at the green guy take that kick at the referee and whiff horribly. This is why you have the warm-up gear on you idiot. At least throw a punch or slap. Anything is better than a pussy kick.

Cut Off the Head...

and the body dies. That is what Apple is figuring out this morning as their stock plummets after uber-CEO Steve Jobs resigned yesterday. Jobs resigned to focus on being Chairman of the Board of Trustees for Apple.

From the Hollywood Reporter:
NEW YORK - Shares of tech giant Apple were down only slightly in early Thursday trading, following late Wednesday's news that Steve Jobs resigned as CEO.

As of 9:45am ET, Apple's stock was trading at $369.79, down 1.7 percent, less than a third the 6 percent drop in Wednesday after-hours, which had signaled a loss of about $18 billion in market value. The early morning trading gave Apple a market capitalization of about $348.8 billion, according to Bloomberg.

Analysts had said Wednesday evening that not much should change at Apple overnight with Jobs' decision to focus on the chairman role.

People are idiots. Steve Jobs is not the only person who makes Apples a powerhouse company. Having a different CEO won't weaken Apple whatsoever. He's still chairman of the board and has tons of say in the running of the company. But all these Apple people are like "Oh no, Overlord Jobs has resigned, we are doomed!"

How's it feel to lose $18 billion?

I mean what company loses it's CEO without a scandal and loses 18 BILLION? Only fucking Apple. this is the drawback of having a charismatic CEO who has a cult-like following. He has to leave eventually and you're fucked for 18 billion bucks on day one. Suck it Apple.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Badass of the Week: 2/22

Alright usually I'm all about the loser of the week, but this video made me create a Badass of the Week. This is why firemen are way more badass than cops. Just walk up to a flaming car and try to put it out.

He barely even flinches when that shit blows, and just calmly strolls away. Badassery at it's finest.

East Coast Earthquake Pussies

So yesterday there was an earthquake that hit Virginia and was felt as far north as here in upstate New York. Everyone was freaking out and the entire time people in California are laughing at us.

From Newser:
"Smack dab in the middle of Virginia" doesn't seem like the likeliest earthquake epicenter locale, and yesterday's quake has plenty of East Coasters wondering why it struck there—and if it'll happen again. 

The Christian Science Monitor tosses out the word "rare": USGS seismic hazard data gives the area a 70% to 75% chance of having a 5.0+ magnitude quake ... once every 1,000 years. 

In California on the San Andreas fault they wake up with a 5.9 earthquake as an alarm clock. I mean really yesterday made everyone flipping out on the East coast look like a bunch of fucking babies compared to Californians. unless buildings are fucking coming down it ain't worth freaking out about.

Oh Fuck No

 I am outraged, there are reports all over the internet talking about Jada Smith supposedly cheating with Marc Anthony? Ditching the Fresh Prince for the fucking latin rat? What the fuck?

From TMZ:
A suspicious Will Smith paid a surprise visit to Jada Pinkett Smith and found her with Marc Anthony ... this according to a new report.

In Touch Weekly claims in early August Will had become increasingly suspicious that his wife was having an affair with her "HawthoRNe" co-star Marc Anthony and secretly flew home from a movie shoot.  The mag claims Will walked in the house, found Marc Anthony and Jada together and left the house crying.

What the fuck. What the fuck. Who is heartless enough to make Will Smith cry? Jada just got on my shit list. I mean who would fuck around with this guy?

Rat Fink

The Freshest Prince

The move here is obvious for Big Willie. You have to go out and fuck J Lo. It's the only way to get vengeance. Just go out and wreck that booty and send Marc the video. One up that little fucking punk.

Pinkeye Wednesday

Fucking wake up this morning and my left eye looks like Oprah was farting in it all night.

Who wants their fucking server giving them an extra side of pinkeye with their lunch? Jesus at least I get the day off work. The downside is I'm an infectious red-eyed zombie. Fucking gross.

Humpday Hotty: Kelly Brook

She has dated Jason Statham. She was the eye candy in Piranha 3D. I give you, Kelly Brook.

Monday, August 22, 2011

The Raiders Are Fucking Morons

So today in the NFL Supplemental Draft the Oakland Raiders drafted Terrelle Pryor in the third round. Which means they lose their third round pick for next year. Jesus they are fucking idiots.

From ESPN:
NAPA, Calif. -- The Oakland Raiders used a third-round pick Monday in the NFL's supplemental draft to select former Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor.

The Raiders and the league announced that Oakland used the 18th selection of the round for Pryor. Oakland forfeits its third-round selection in the 2012 draft.

Oh and by the way, Pryor has to miss the first five games of the regular season for ditching school to enter the NFL.

Look at this fucking clown

My question is this; is Al Davis the head of the worst decision making team in sports? I mean seriously. The Raiders gave up their star corner, JaMarcus Russell was about as good a pick as I would be, and they are draining next year's pick for a guy who sucks. I'm sorry but Terrelle Pryor won't do shit in the NFL. This is why the Raiders are the Raiders and their fans are always pissed. Because they fucking blow. And so will Terrelle Pryor.

What the Fuck NASCAR?

Dude, I knew NASCAR was for bitch-made punks who think driving is a sport, but hair pulling? Really?

And all the dude has to say is "we had a fast car today." Dude you just got your hair pulled by a clipboard-carrying inbred retard from Alabama, are you not pissed? I would be ready to fuck that guy up. Hair pulling is lower than a cheap-shot punch or really anything else. I would only expect this from fucking NASCAR. Stay classy stock car drivers.

Puncture Trailer

Alright so this movie looks sick. And god knows Chris Evans needs a bounce-back after Captain America. So what does he do? Goes to play a drug fiend lawyer. Like a boss. Then insert government drug company conspiracy. You got my ten bucks.

The Future of the U

Alright so I'm a little late in talking about this story but fuck it. Normally I think that the NCAA trying to pretend like it can control it's schools is stupid. But I mean last week it came out that for years a convicted felon and booster for Miami provided money, entertainment, and prostitutes to Miami football players.

From the Miami Herald:
An 11-month investigation by Yahoo! Sports alleged that Shapiro “provided thousands of impermissible benefits to at least 72 athletes from 2002 through 2010,” that included cash, prostitutes, entertainment in his multimillion-dollar homes and yacht, paid trips to expensive restaurants and nightclubs, jewelry, bounties for on-field play, travel and, on one occasion, an abortion.” 

Included in the Yahoo! report as allegedly violating NCAA rules because of convicted felon Shapiro’s interaction: current prominent football players Jacory Harris, Marcus Forston, Dyron Dye, Travis Benjamin, Ray-Ray Armstrong, Adewale Ojomo, Olivier Vernon, Vaughn Telemaque, Sean Spence, Marcus Robinson, JoJo Nicolas and Aldarius Johnson.

Everyone in the sports world is talking about the "Death Penalty" and could the NCAA kill the Miami football program for some number of years. My question is; how could they not? I mean usually scandals just involve improper cash benefits. Hookers and fucking abortions? If that isn't enough for the NCAA to pull the trigger, then I don't know what is.

If the NCAA doesn't pull the plug on the U, then they really do have no control over any schools.

Spider Plus Rednecks

I don't know what part of this video I like better. The fucking awesome speed of that spider taking care of that fucking wasp, or the redneck commentary. You can clearly tell that this is the coolest thing these inbred morons have ever seen, and the spider has a higher IQ than all of them put together.

This One's for you Ben

For the first time in the history of this blog, I didn't put up a Humpday Hotty. I just turned 21 people, give me a fucking break. When I'm not at work, I'm drinking. That's just how it goes. I'm going to make sure to put up a bombshell this week though.My smut-peddling will be back on point this week.

Alright so last week I showed you guys my boy Ben's advice for college freshman. The publicity goes to the kids head and he starts popping out videos every 30 seconds for the next two days. I tell him to slow his roll when he puts up this video.

And now I'll give a little reply of my own.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Loser of the Week: 8/15

Nice exit bro.

Fucking French Freaks

From the NY Daily News:
A kids clothing company has crossed the line from cute to seriously creepy.

Jours Apres Lunes, a French line of lingerie for tiny tots to teens, is raising eyebrows over its depictions of little girls all dolled up in kiddie bras and underwear, reports Fashionista.

The little girls who model the Fille collection aimed at 4-to12-year-olds, wear makeup and sunglasses, aping poses of models four and five times their age. 

Only the French

Dude, we should have seen this coming. With slut pop stars getting younger and younger, it was only a matter of time before clothing companies start marketing slutwear to little fucking kids. This is why I never want a daughter. How the fuck can you compete with all these advertisers and shit telling them to start sucking dick and showing tits in elementary school? The only option is to lock the little kid up or send them to live with the Amish. They know how to raise a respectable woman.
That's more like it

College Tips

Alright here are some solid tips for you young guna about to be college freshman. Big Ups to my man Ben Mancino for putting this shit together.

Check out his blog here.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Ball 1, Face 0

Hey at least he stopped the ball. That's what being a fucking goalie is all about.

The Thing About Chris Johnson

From ESPN:
The Tennessee Titans' contract stalemate with holdout running back Chris Johnson shows no signs of ending anytime soon. 

While the Titans publicly stated they are willing to make Johnson the highest-paid running back in the NFL, those close to Johnson believe he should be paid as one of the top playmakers in the league -- not just for running backs, sources familiar with the situation told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.

I understand Crhis Johnson deserves to be making more than $900k this year. But for him to say he wants to be one of the highest paid players in the entire league, I mean, come on man. In 2010 Johnson had 12 touchdowns. You know how much the best players in the league had last year? I'll tell you.

Where the gold at?!

BenJarvus Green Ellis from the Pats had 13 touchdowns. Yeah, and he ain't making much money this year.

Just to put it into perspectiv, the highest paid NFL players are Quarterbacks, and the only QB's who had 12 or less touchdowns in 2010 were Matt Hasselbeck, Tony Romo, Brett Favre, and Vince Young. So conparatively Johnson should make maybe a bit more than those guys because his career will no doubt be shorter.

And he will get paid. My point is just that running back's in the NFL aren't worth fat paychecks. Its a QB and receiver league. Why overpay a running back who is just going to run himself into the ground in 3 years and then you are stuck paying him for another 2? Seems stupid to me.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy Trailer

Sex comedy on steroids. That's what the new comedy about an orgy looks like. Might even be funny too.

From Screenjunkies:
This red band trailer for Jason Sudeikis‘s next raunchy comedy, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy, gives us a pretty funny look at the movie’s dirtier scenes, but it will also show you things that can’t be unseen. Chief among them: David Koechner enjoying reverse cowgirl while dressed like a sea captain. It’s what I’d do too if I had Anchorman fame.
A Good Old Fashioned Orgy starring Sudeikis, Tyler Labine, Leslie Bibb, Lucy Punch, Will Forte, Martin Starr, Lake Bell, Nick Kroll, and Lindsay Sloane, opens on September 2nd wherever fine films about orgies are shown.

Fucking Sorority Girls

I can't tell you what this video makes me think of sorority sluts. I mean what the fucking fuck girls. Did they even practice this shit? Is this really the video you are using to ply innocent little 18-year-old's and make them want to join you in your cult of gutter-sluttery?

I just think that if sorority girls wanted to be treated with respect they wouldn't suck this bad at recruitment videos. At least show some tits ladies.

And calling out Nick Saban when you go to Alabama, probably not going to help you as far as popularity on campus. Stupid sluts.

Google Takeover of Earth Continues

From the NY Times:
In a bid to strengthen its mobile business, Google announced on Monday that it would acquire Motorola Mobility Holdings, the cellphone business that was split from Motorola, for $40 a share in cash, or $12.5 billion.

The offer — by far Google’s largest ever for an acquisition — is 63 percent above the closing price of Motorola Mobility shares on Friday. Motorola manufactures phones that run on Google’s Android software.

Does anyone not see where this is going? We make Android, you make the phones, then we buy you and do both.

When the fuck does Google become a Monopoly? I mean they basically already monopolize internet user's information. Between Google searches and Gmail accounts, they have info on half the modern world. Throw in a fucking platform for them to keep Android alive and they are slowly taking over the fucking world.

In this game, we own you!

I mean remember when Microsoft was broken up for being a Monopoly? Google is at least ten times more controlling of the marketplace than Microsoft was in the 90's.

I mean analysts are saying that Google made the move to keep Android alive, but what it really did was give Google a large outlet for their products. Where will it stop? When they create their own fucking army to protect their mainframes of information on every human on the planet. Then of course they kill us all. Maybe.

The Warlock vs. The Juggalos

Alright so here is a video of the Warlock himself, Charlie Sheen, at the Gathering of the Juggalos. AKA the douchebags who love Insane Clown Posse. And what happens when you throw shit at the Warlock? Motherfucker just dodges and catches that shit. Like stupid high school dropout punks could harm the Warlock.

Fucking amateurs.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Funny Guys Get Hotties

So every fucking smut website ont he planet is ripping on Tyra Banks for going on a date with Craig Robinson. Yes, he's the funny-ass black dude from Pineapple Express and other movies as well as the Office.

Get some

Everyone is like "really Tyra, you're dating this dude?" blah blah blah shut the fuck up people. Funny guys get to trade up in looks all the fucking time. You know why? Becuase even if you have a fucking eight pack and look like Fabio if you can't make a chick laugh than what the fuck good are you? Fucking useless.

So dudes, stop working out and start trying to be funny, that shit works. I mean, you'll never be funny enough to bag Tyra Banks, but maybe you could catch Lindsey Lohan on a coke bender and get her to blow you for a few chuckles. Who knows.

Loser of the Week: 8/8

Hammock 1, dude 0.

The Giants are Fucked

From ESPN:
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. -- Coach Tom Coughlin said he was upset and surprised when Steve Smith left for Philadelphia on Wednesday.

Coughlin said the New York Giants were not given a chance to counter the Eagles' offer and were fully under the impression that Smith would give them the opportunity if things got close with another team.

"We were constantly told that if and when the market did develop that we would always be included in what was going on," Coughlin said. "I am upset. So is everybody. But we are disappointed in the fact that ... it's like lining up for the race and you are in the locker room and nobody tells you that the race is going to be run. That is the disappointing thing here. I don't believe that we were given the opportunity to do what we can do."

Smith responded to irate Giants fans on his Facebook page by reiterating that the Giants didn't want him as much as the Eagles did.

Dude the Giants are fucked. Kevin Boss gone, Steve Smith gone. I mean you only have Eli as a quarterback. I know you Giants fan still are convinced he'll be his brother someday, but let me tell you, he ain't Peyton. And you also let the Jets grab Plax. I mean they better have a solid defense because goddamn the fucking Giants offense is going to suck.

Someone asked me the other day if I was a Giants fan and all I could say was "does it look like I just came from slitting my wrists or something?" It's going to be a long year for the G-men.

Anonymous Trailer

What if William Shakespeare didn't write all the shit we think he did? That is the question proposed by Anonymous, a new movie exploring the possibility that good old Billy Shakespeare was a fraud. MY question is, who cares? To the victor goes the spoils, and as far as I'm concerned Shakespeare is one of the greatest playwrights ever, or one of the best thieves ever. What's the difference anyway?

What if Einstein kept an idiot savant in his basement who discovered the theory of relativity and good old Einy took the credit? Movies like this suck. You're not getting my 10 bucks. Nice try.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Humpday Hotty: Ashley Tisdale

This week I'm going with a chick who got a nose job, graduated from the Disney Channel, and now bam. She is slamming hot. Eat shit Miley Cyrus, because Ashley Tisdale is the hottest chick coming out of Disney since 18-year-old Britney Spears.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Big Boi Busted

So Big Boi from Outkast got busted in Miami when a customs dog indictaed he had drugs on him. Police ended up finding more than a joint.


From TMZ:
Officers performed a pat-down on Big Boi from Outkast when he got off a cruise ship in Miami yesterday, and found several drugs ON HIS PERSON ... this according to the Miami-Dade Police report obtained by TMZ.

Cops say U.S. Customs and Border Patrol searched Big Boi after a drug-sniffing dog named Cezar reacted to Big Boi.

According to the Miami-Dade Police report, "The pat-down revealed 5.7 grams of MDMA in powder form, 3 pills of suspect ecstacy, 9 whole pills of Viagra and 2 [half-pills] of Viagra, and a cigarette roller with suspect marijuana residue."

TMZ broke the story, 36-year-old Big Boi was arrested for 3 counts of possession of narcotics and 1 count of possession of drug paraphernalia. 

Damn man, sounds like whatever party Big Boi was going to was about to be off the hook. More than an eight ball of MDMA, some X pills and Viagra? All I know is Miami police just stopped a couple hoes in Miami from getting smashed all fucking night by a hopped-up Big Boi.

The Big 2-1

21st birthdays are probably the strangest tradition ever for Americans. It's the one tradition where the celebration involves trying to kill the person celebrating their birthday. Think about it.

Today I turn 21 and all my friends are going to try to give me alcohol poisoning. They might even succeed, and it will be awesome. But I won't remember any of it and I will probably be puking every five minutes for 4 hours tomorrow. And somehow I will be officially inducted into the world of legal drinking. The only way it will really be a failure is if I get fired from my job for puking on a customer, or if I die. Any other outcome is success.

So just in case I don't make it to tomorrow, thanks to all my readers. And if you are in Saratoga tonight, come try to kill me with alcohol.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Eat a Dick Shark Week

Look at this shit. A fisherman off the coast of Chatham on Cape Cod jumps onto the back of a passing shark.

You think you're tough Shark week dudes? This is how we roll on the Cape. Fucking piggy-backs on monster sharks all day.

Old Dude Fight

I don't even know what to make of this. I mean these dudes are so weak when they connect with punches it doesn't even affect the other guy.

Old people are useless.

The Sitter Trailer

 A babysitting movie with Jonah Hill. It looks like it's going to be hilarious.

Professor Kills Himself During Class

Just think about when you were in college. And imagine that you witnessed this bizarre scene one morning as class starts.

From the Huffington Post:
PHILADELPHIA -- Police say a Philadelphia college professor killed himself by diving over a second-floor railing inside a campus building during class.

The newspaper says the 71-year-old professor walked out of his class Wednesday, returned briefly, yelled and then ran to a second-floor railing outside the classroom. Police say campus security was summoned and Alexandrov dived over the railing and hit the floor, some 20 to 30 feet below.

Lt. Robert Zaffino, a Philadelphia detective, says Alexandrov had had a history of depression and had been having suicidal thoughts.

The private four-year college did not cancel classes but made counselors available to students.

This shit is fucking crazy. What a shitty way to get a class off. I mean how the fuck do you react to your professor leaping over a railing and falling to road-pizza? I would just start drinking. What else can you do?

Sean Avery Arrested

I know no one cares about hockey, but I fucking hate that douchebag on the Rangers Sean Avery. He thinks he's a fucking tough guy when really he's just a punk.

Real cool guy

From The NY Daily News:
The Los Angeles Police Department has confirmed that Rangers winger Sean Avery was arrested at 1 a.m. Friday for battery on a peace officer, and taken to jail.

According to a report on TMZ, a neighbor called police to complain about noise from a party at Avery's home in the Hollywood Hills. Citing "law enforcement sources," the report said that Avery's response when police arrived was to shove the officer at his door, then slam it behind him.

Avery reportedly was cooperative after the initial confrontation, but still arrested for his initial action.

The LAPD confirmed that, five hours after the incident, Avery remained in jail. His bail reportedly has been set at $20,000.

I wish the cop fucking clubbed him in the face Superbad style.

Why do people think that it's badass to mix it up with cops? It's just stupid. "Let me prove how tough I am by being badass to cops in front of everyone at my party." Smooth move idiot, now you're in jail.

Total QBR

Tonight at 8pm ESPN is unleashing their new Quarterback rating system called the Total Quarterback Rating. We all know the old Passer Rating is bulltshit. I mean what kind of grade system has a scale from 0 to 153.8?

The new system is from 0 to 100. Oh wait, there's more!

It incorporates a ton of things the old rating didn't. First of all, it is going to weigh things that happen in the fourth quarters. Like driving your team on a comeback with two minutes to go. It will weigh completions. Gaining 6 yards on 3rd and 4 in the fourth will weigh a lot. It will weigh yards after catch by the receiver. If you dump it to the slot and he runs 80 yards, you don't get a ton of credit.

ESPN has been working on this shit for three years and Trent Dilfer thinks it will be the rating used by scouts in the next 5 years. I think that the only way to truly grade quarterbacks is to compare them. No stats and shit, just heads up, who outplays who. But the new rating at least is a step in the right direction.

And my predictions for what quarterbacks ratings will change drastically are:

Tom Brady will suffer because he has no deep receivers and Wes Welker is a YAC machine.

Matt Ryan will move up because of his efficiency throughout games.

Fuck Mark Sanchez.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Movie Review: Captain America

So I just got out of Captain America 3-D and the verdict isn't good. I heard mixed reviews about it but it was really flat. I don't mean like flat as in some obscure term talking about some aspect of the movie. I mean it was just there. The plot was thin as predicted. But what should have held the thing together, the action, wasn't all great either.

The first 30 minutes are all "little guy" jokes. Then the main character becomes jacked so the humor ends basically there other than a few one-liners.

Another real big flaw in the movie was the script. Every god damn predictable cheese-filled line of dialogue at the dramatic points made for more laughs than anything else. And the last line of the movie made me want to rip my eyeballs out and eat them. I'm not giving it away. I paid 14$ for that closing line.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Humpday Hotty: Dania Ramirez

This week's hotty plays Alex, Turtle's piece in Entourage. She speaks for herself. I don't know what else she's in and I don't really care.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Deuces Randy

So after 13 years being the sickest receiver ever, Randy Moss is retiring.

Like a boss

From ESPN:
No farewell speech from maybe the most physically gifted receiver to don a helmet. No tearful goodbye from a record-setting performer who changed the way defense is played in the NFL. Just a one-sentence statement from his agent saying one of the most colorful careers in league history was over.

"Randy has weighed his options and considered the offers and has decided to retire," Joel Segal said on Monday.

If this indeed is the end for Moss, he leaves the game with some of the gaudiest statistics posted by a receiver. His 153 touchdowns are tied with Terrell Owens for second on the career list, and he's also fifth in yards (14,858) and tied with Hines Ward for eighth in receptions (954).

He didn't get any offers from any teams worth playing for, so he decided to call it quits. Obviously he'll go down as one of the best of all time. It's been an amazing career for Randy Moss. Straight cash homie.