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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Losers of the Week: 2/27/12

So this week I'm just dropping a loser bomb on everyone. I found a people of walmart super clip with sexy and i know it as the music. Sold. Game. Set. Losers.

I love Walmart, it is such a great way to kill an hour just wandering looking at all the weird shit and people in there. But the people are fucking scary.

Snooki is Pregnant?!

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? Snooki is apparently pregnant. You fucking know that her child will be the anti-christ. Just like the Mayans predicted. Goddamnit those dudes were smart.

From TMZ:
Snooki was LYING FOR TWO when she denied pregnancy rumors earlier this month ... but sources tell TMZ the "Jersey Shore" star had a damn good reason -- she didn't want to jinx herself.

Sources close to the MTV star tell us ... Snooks WAS already pregnant when she went on Sirius/XM radio on Feb. 1st and told everyone she was OUTRAGED by the suggestion that she had preggo belly.

But we're told Snooki is taking the situation very seriously ... especially the taboo about revealing the pregnancy before the 3rd month.

Now, it seems Snooki has crossed the 3-month threshold ... and an official announcement could come any moment.

Sweet lord what will she look like 8 months in?

This is not fucking good at all. I mean I thought that Mayan shit was a load of crap but jesus christ it's coming true. The Mayans knew that reality television would spawn the devil that will destroy the world. The end is nigh! It's a sign of things to come. Hide your kids hide your wife. We must try to abort the great satan! I knew Jersey Shore would kill us all eventually.

Humpday Hotty: Celebs in Yoga Pants

Alright, this time I'm changing the motherfucking game. Not just one slammin' hot piece, a whole slew of them. In yoga pants. You're welcome.

Katy Perry

Jessica Alba

Sara Jean Underwood

Kim Kardashian

Olivia Wilde
Gisele Bundchen

Heidi Montag

Irina Shayk
Megan Fox

Carmen Elecktra

Ines Sainz

BAM. That's what the fuck is up. You think my hotties are getting tired? Throw some yoga pants on those bitches and watch the fucking show. Goddamn whoever invented that fabric must be knee-deep in pussy. If he isn't I vote he should be by law getting some 24/7. Thank you yoga pants guy.

Dude merked at Rick Ross' crib

From TMZ:
Cops are looking to speak with rapper Rick Ross ... after a 40-year-old man was shot to death in front of his Miami Gardens home this morning ... TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell us ... Ross was NOT home at the time of the shooting and at this point in the investigation, he's not considered a suspect.

We're told cops found the victim laying inside a gate at the home.

Sources tell us ... investigators don't know if the victim has any connection to Ross, but since he is listed as the owner of the property, cops want to ask him a few questions about the situation.

So far, no comment from Rick's camp.

Hoodest parole officer ever

Key words here, dude was lying inside a gate at Ricky's pad. So homie had to be let inside the gate right? Seems suspicious. I mean I think this shit probably had nothing to do with Rick Ross. But if it did, he is instantly the biggest idiot on earth. I mean having someone shot in front of your own house? Dude for fuck's sake. I mean shit it's in Miami, dump that dude in the everglades and let the crocs eat him or some shit. But I'm sure the murder has absolutely nothing to do with Ricky Rose at all...

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

NASCAR Boom goes unseen?

So I don't follow NASCAR for shit but when I found out that some guy crushed a truck carrying jet fuel yesterday. And then I look everywhere and all I can find is a shitty camera angle and no actual footage of the dude nailing the truck.

Isn't that the worst? Such a cock tease. Like you can even see the fireball in the frame but not the actual impact. Hey NASCAR, want to become more popular, let me see the motherfucking accident, not the guy's stupid car and shit. I want fireballs and action and excitement! We don't ask for much especially out of a sport that I still only consider entertaining when the race looks more like something out of Twisted Metal.

FX is about to be Winning

From The Hollywood Reporter:
Charlie Sheen will be returning to television on Thursday, June 28.
FX on Tuesday revealed its summer schedule, with the return of the ousted Two and a Half Men star Sheen's new comedy, Anger Management, launching with back-to-back episodes at 9 and 9:30 p.m.

After airing the first two of its 10 episodes of the Debmar-Mercury/Lionsgate Television series, the series that stars Sheen as a nontraditional therapist specializing in anger management will return the following week with its third episode on Thursday at 9:30 p.m. with an original episode. The week's previous installment will air at 9 p.m. Selma Blair, Shawnee Smith, Daniela Bobadilla, Michael Arden and Noureen DeWulf co-star.

Following the hourlong Sheen bow, FX will launch the sophomore season of its Elijah Wood and Jason Gann comedy Wilfred at 10 p.m. Oscar winner Robin Williams (Good Will Hunting) will guest star in the premiere.

Following Wilfred, Louis C.K. will return for season three of his critically acclaimed comedy Louie at 10:30 p.m.

Lastly, Russell Brand will make his debut as a late-night host with the series premiere of Strangely Uplifting at 11 p.m. The network has ordered six half-hour episodes that will see the outspoken comedian interact with his live studio audience.

Charlie Sheen, Louis C.K., and Russell Brand, don't forget Alfred. FX's summer lineup is going to crush. I mean that is the dopest three-hour block on TV probably in recent years. Russell Brand might be stupid, I'll give you that, but he is funny as fuck. And obviously adding the Warlock is a must. I knew he would be back on TV within a year. All I know is that FX is the channel to beat right now, suck it network television.

Google + is whack

So when Google first launched Google + it was touted as the new Facebook, the new thing in social media. And what people found out was they didn't want to put in the time and effort for Google + because well, we all have Facebook.

From Newser:
Google+ launched with ambitions of competing with Facebook, and if you listen to CEO Larry Page, it's on pace to do just that, with 90 million users registering since June. But there's one big problem, the Wall Street Journal observes: Those 90 million users aren't actually doing anything once they've signed up. According to comScore, the average Google+ visitor spends just three minutes a month on the site, compared to six or seven hours for Facebook. 

"Google+ "does not have the same degree of vibrancy that Facebook, Twitter, or even Pinterest has at the moment," says one media buyer. To wit, Zynga says the growth of CityVille and Zynga Poker players—both games are now offered on Google+—has been sluggish. But Google insists that Google+ is more than a destination website, arguing that it adds value to other Google services like search and YouTube. "We're growing by every metric we care about," said one Google VP.

Look, this is why Facebook is such a dominant force in social media. You already have one. It's already setup, your wall already has posts. People already communicate with you on Facebook. Twitter is able to break into the picture because it is simpler and more mobile. But Google + is just a repackaged Facebook, and that just doesn't fly at all. Who the fuck wants TWO stupid websites to dump time and effort into? Not this fucking guy.

I joined Google + to check it out, of course. But after that I think I posted one picture and haven't looked at the shit since. Face it Google, you are an ad revenue machine, but you are not and will never be Facebook.

Lady Gaga in MIB III

So apparently the cat is out of the bag on Lady Gaga making an appearance in Min in Black III.

From Huffington Post:
She's been decapitated on stage and stepped out as greaser alter ego Jo Calderone. Now the genre-busting Lady Gaga is prepping for what some hope could be her oddest role yet: a cameo in "Men in Black III." 

According to a report by Brazilian website ElCorilloRD.com, via the Daily Mail, the megawatt pop star will appear in a small role in the blockbuster film, which co-stars Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones as alien-fighting Secret Service agents who set out to save the "future of humankind". 

"We have a couple of celebrity cameos, but I think I cannot reveal who they are," Smith told the website while on a promotional tour in Rio last week. "We must keep as a surprise that Lady Gaga appears.

Oh god get it away

I don't give a fuck about what the article says, Lady Gaga is definitely the evil alien gross thing in MIB III. She'll be like the giant cockroach in the first one. And once the movie premieres she'll say that she played a monster to empower gays or something and bam her next album is the bestselling one ever. I'm telling you, Lady Gaga might be weird as fuck and possibly have a dick, but he's smart as fuck.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Movie Review: Act of Valor

So by now everyone has seen the trailers for Act of Valor, the movie about active-duty Navy Seals who in general kill terrorists like you punch in every morning to sit in a cubicle. They straight up fuck peoples' days up.

If you couldn't tell that there are soft parts you're a clown. Toward the end it gets real fucking mushy but the ridiculous gun battles and shit make up for the cheesy type shit.

Overall if you want to watch the most ridiculously trained animals go after evil and equally badass terrorists and fuck their days up then this is the movie for you. It is pure Amurica without being dripping in political bullshit. These guys only give a fuck about killing the bad guys, and that's how the movie was made also. It's like real-life Team America. Hoorah.

These kids don't fuck around

From Newser:
Three students who admitted putting rat poison in their teacher's coffee are being punished ... by being sent to other schools. The 10- and 11-year-old kids are accused of putting poison in the coffee as well as in the icing of a cupcake in December at California's Balderas Elementary School, but one of the boys "knocked the cup of coffee out of the teacher's hand when she was going to drink it," says the Fresno Teachers Association president. 

The students were expelled when the district learned of the incident two weeks ago, but teachers and parents are not happy with the punishment and the police are now investigating, KFSN reports. "They should not be placed at another campus where now other staff and other students have to worry," says a teacher at the Phoenix Academy, where two of the boys will be sent. "These kids are going to be elevated to gods to many of our kids, they're going to say this is great, 'maybe I can do something similar to a teacher or an adult.'"

Wrong kind of poison bro
What the fuck is wrong with kids these days? Dudes need to play outside and stop watching fucking television. Did I just say that? But for real, when you go outside and have to imagine friends with you while you run through the woods it makes you more realistic. Poisoning the teacher would just make the school day longer which means more time between times you can go fuck around.

What the fuck does it say about the parents' that they were "not happy with the punishment". Really? How about throwing your little fucker into juvenile custody for attempted murder? Does no one already see that these kids are going to grow up to be murderers? I'm just saying.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Wanderlust Trailer

So tomorrow Wanderlust comes out with the sexier-by-the-year Jennifer Aniston and funny-as-fuck Paul Rudd. Yay complex adjectives.

Other than the unendingly frustrating part where Rudd walks in on Aniston and various hot women in bed after a lesbian experience, this shit looks pretty damn funny.

The fuck is going on at MIT?

From Huffington Post:
Police are investigating the third student death at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology this academic year.

The 21-year-old MIT student, Brian Anderson was found dead in his dorm room on Monday afternoon.
No immediate cause of death was given. However, MIT officials said Anderson's death did not appear to be a suicide like the other two undergrad deaths this year.

"Until the official investigation by the appropriate state and local authorities is complete, we will not fully know what led to this tragedy, but I encourage everyone to refrain from speculation," MIT Chancellor Eric Grimson wrote to students.

Come here and off yourself!

How fucking suspect is it that no cause of death was given? I mean does that mean they couldn't find any cause of death or they just don't want to tell anyone? Who the fuck knows.

Of course a school as nice as MIT will have suicides. I mean the motherfucking pressure those asian kids must put on themselves must be monumental. Instead of drinking their pain away like me I guess they just hang themselves. Personally a little smoke and a drink is all I need, but I'm a simple man.

Meet the e-cig on the plane guy

From The Smoking Gun:
The man who repeatedly yelled “Allah is great” as he was removed yesterday from a plane that was forced to make an emergency landing due to his unruly behavior is a 19-year-old Saudi Arabian who was arrested Sunday night after he led Oregon police on a drunken car chase that saw him ram two cop cars and attempt to run over pedestrians, The Smoking Gun has learned.
According to investigators, Yazeed Mohammed Abunayyan was smoking an electronic cigarette on a Continental Airlines flight traveling from Portland to Houston. When a flight attendant directed Abunayyan to stop smoking (or relinquish the device), he refused and began “yelling profanities and swinging his fist at the flight attendant,” according to an indictment filed this afternoon in U.S. District Court in Portland.

Abunayyan, pictured in the mug shot at right, also hit or attempted to hit other passengers and was “speaking or singing about Usama bin Laden and his hatred of women,” the indictment charges. Abunayyan, who reportedly has been in the U.S. visiting relatives, was charged with a felony count of interfering with flight crew members.

Go figure there was more to the e-cigarette on the plane story. Yesterday I railed about e-cigs on planes and shit and it turns out this guy was basically trying to get arrested. Dude looks pretty confused in that mugshot so who the fuck knows what he was thinking. All I know is if you start talking about Osama on a plane you're in for a long day. And dude is from Saudi Arabia.

These things indicate to me that right now he is in some FBI safe house getting water-boarded like a motherfucker. You just can't do shit on planes anymore. Get up on the bus or subway and yell about Osama and wave around your e-cig no one cares. Just not on a plane you idiot.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

E-Cigs on flights

From Newser:
A flight out of Portland had to return to the airport yesterday after a man started puffing on an e-cigarette shortly after takeoff and refused to turn it off. He was escorted off the plane at Portland International Airport and may face federal charges, reports OregonLive.com. (It's not clear what those charges might be.) E-cigs do not give off smoke but rather a vapor from a liquid nicotine solution. 

This fact did not win over the flight staff, which accused the passenger of disobeying the 'no-smoking' sign. While federal law prohibits smoking on commercial planes, it does not address the relatively new e-cigs, which are gaining popularity as a tobacco-less alternative to smoking. The Department of Transportation has signaled it might ban them as early as this spring. Continental Airlines, which provided the fight, already has an explicit ban on them, notes MSNBC.

Not on my plane, bitch

Usually I'm pretty libertarian on shit like this. But even if my phone doesn't actually disrupt the flight maybe it should still be banned so a flight isn't full of annoying assholes on the phone the entire time. You know there would be at least 5 "that guy" per flight. This is the same thing, e-cigs don't bother shit. Fuck I've had a guy sit behind me in a class and puff an e-cig with no one giving a fuck. But then all smokers would get e-cigs for plane rides and it'd be annoying as shit. Just straight puffing those bitches all through the flight. Then Samuel L. Jackson has to yell about too many cigs on this motherfuckin' plane, it just doesn't end well at all.

I think it's fucking hilarious how people can't even postpone their rituals for an hour flight. No phone, no cigs, and no guns. That's it. For a short period of time. No one has any self-control anymore. Shit I lost my phone and went without one for two and a half weeks and besides my girlfriend not being able to summon me 24/7 I lived. But so many people were like " I couldn't do that I NEED my phone." Just listen to yourself when you talk people. You CAN live without a phone, for that three hour flight to Detroit, and longer if you really push yourself.

Watch this guy get broke

So flying squirrel suits are all the rage among daredevils. And this is why only psychos use them.

Jeb Corliss got two broken legs after clipping that ridge. Ridiculous.

Smartglasses coming soon

From Newser:
By the end of this year, you won't have to pull out your smartphone for directions while walking down the street: The information will be displayed directly in front of your very eyes, if you buy a pair of the glasses Google is developing. The Android-based glasses, which will have a 3G or 4G connection and are expected to cost around the same amount as a smartphone, will stream information in real time on a small screen a few inches from the eyeball, sources tell the New York Times

The glasses will also include sensors like motion and GPS and a low-resolution camera, making it possible for the glasses to give the user information about location and even nearby friends. Users are expected to scroll and click through the information via head tilts. Privacy is a concern, as Google wants to make sure people know if the glasses are recording them. The glasses, which are being built in Google's secretive Google X laboratories, are not intended to be worn at all times. Apple is exploring a similar option, but its creation would be worn around the wrist.

Weird huh
Damn this is some scary shit. I mean if Google can really get this going soon then my guess is we have about ten years until Terminator happens for realz. Time to start stockpiling guns and ammo I guess.

And what the fuck is up with the Apple version, wearing sweet shades compared to wearing a wristband like an NFL quarterback? Apple you better get on the glasses bandwagon because wristbands are the opposite of cool.

Humpday Hotty: Amber Heard

Amber Heard. She's in Zombieland. She is hot. 'Nuff said.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

How dangerous is Anonymous?

From Newser:
Hacking collective Anonymous has taken on the FBI and the CIA, among others—and soon the group could be making its presence known in your living room. The National Security Agency director warns that within the next one to two years, Anonymous could launch a cyberattack that results in a limited power outage, the Wall Street Journal reports. 

Gen. Keith Alexander did not air his concerns in public, but in private meetings including some at the White House, sources say. Other officials are similarly concerned, but some think the possibility is more like three to five years off. Anonymous has never mentioned a power blackout plan, but federal officials believe the group is planning to get more destructive, particularly after Anonymous threatened last week to shut down the Internet during "Operation Global Blackout" on March 31.

 Experts believe the likelihood of such an attack to be low; similarly, an attack on the power grid would produce only limited damage. Grid officials are already adept at fighting regular attacks on their systems, and backup systems are in place in case an attack is successful. 

One possibility discussed by officials: A foreign government or terrorist group could develop the ability to attack the grid, then outsource the job to Anonymous.

Maybe scary?
Well apparently Anonymous has really made it big-time. When you have sort of quotes from the NSA director talking about timetables on an Anonymous attack on the power grid you know that the government thinks of the group as a real threat. But all that bullshit about them doing the job on behalf of a foreign government or terrorist group is stupid. They don't want to be puppets to some crazy douchebags, they want to do their own thing.

Oh Well I guess I'll be ready for a two-hour power outage in the next decade. Big impact on peoples' lives Anonymous.

Four Loko 1, 13-year-old 0

From Dailymail:
A 13-year-old boy who died falling out of a moving car while throwing up after being fatally stuck by a passing vehicle was drinking controversial alcoholic beverage Four Loko.
Eighth-grader Michael Truluck, of Baltimore County, Maryland, got his hands on the drink that was banned in nearby Baltimore City for its potent mix of caffeine and alcohol.

The drink was removed from shelves while makers distributed a caffeine-free version, after a series of legal claims it caused irreparable side-effects.

Baltimore County Police told ABC News the car carrying Truluck was making a turn out of the Auto Zone parking onto a busy highway in Parkville on Saturday evening when the accident occurred.
The driver of the car that hit him stopped at the scene, the station reports.

Truluck's mother, Kris Keys, spoke at a vigil for her son on Sunday, where 100 of his peers were in attendance to pay their respects. 

Mrs Keys did not give any indication she had plans to sue the company.

Look this story is awful. All I'm going to say in humor about it is that every pro drinker knows you drop the window to puke safely.

The real reason I'm steamed about this story is that last line "Mrs Keys did not give any indication she had plans to sue the company." Are you fucking kidding me? Sue a company that changed their product to make it safer and then sue them because your fucking 13 YEAR OLD drank one of their 21+ drinks and had to puke? The fact that whoever wrote the article included that is fucked. Of course she shouldn't be suing the company, she should sue herself for not knowing that her kid is riding around fucked up as shit on Four Loko. That's on you lady, not the company.

It's not their fault you are a shit parent
It all goes back to this culture of non-responsibility. It's never the parents fault. It's the ADULT beverage company whose product was misused by an underage kid. Or it's the media for making Four Loko so well known. Try motherfucking parenting people, it works wonders.

Oh and can you imagine drinking a Four Loko at 13? What the fuck man kid must have been a champ. I would have taken one sip and given up alcohol forever 8 years before turning 21. 

Monday, February 20, 2012

Pepper sprayed at Disneyland

Jesus man this is some shit. I feel like since the whole Occupy thing cops are just pepper spraying everybody out there. Hide your eyes and hide your ears.

Gotta love the friends trying to calm Sean down while they videotape him getting muffed in the face.

"I think this guy's been drinking vodka!" Love it.

And what the fuck, just when you think the video sucks dude gets up and the old guy with the hat bops him with the mace AGAIN. This video is great.

Alright all hilarity aside Disney security what the fuck is up? I mean I know 99% of the time you only have to deal with little shit kids who piss their pants or lose their mommy. But 1% of the time you have this dude. And it took civilians to help hold him down, security couldn't even deal with him themselves. Get your shit together Disney come on I mean seriously what if this dude was a drunken Al Qaeda operative or some shit.

Grandpa with pepper spray versus an actual threat? Seems like the kiddies at the ice cream stand might get blown the fuck up. Unless the Lakers jersey guy is there. Then there will be serious blood.

FDA to review inhalable caffiene

From New York Post:
BOSTON — US Food and Drug Administration officials plan to investigate whether inhalable caffeine sold in lipstick-sized canisters is safe for consumers and if its manufacturer was right to brand it as a dietary supplement.

AeroShot went on the market late last month in Massachusetts and New York, and it's also available in France. Consumers put one end of the grey-and-yellow plastic canister in their mouths and breathe in, releasing a fine powder that dissolves almost instantly.

AeroShot inventor, Harvard biomedical engineering professor David Edwards, says the product is safe and doesn't contain taurine and other common additives used to enhance the caffeine effect in energy drinks.

AeroShot didn't require FDA review before hitting the US market because it's sold as a dietary supplement. But Sen. Charles Schumer said he met with FDA Commissioner Dr. Margaret Hamburg and she agreed to review the safety and legality of AeroShot.

"I am worried about how a product like this impacts kids and teens, who are particularly vulnerable to overusing a product that allows one to take hit after hit after hit, in rapid succession," Schumer said.
He planned to announce the AeroShot review on Sunday.

Inhalable caffeine? Seems like a pretty ballin' idea. I mean it is the logical progression. Everyone wants drugs pure and portable. Caffeine? Fuck coffee and espresso just spray that shit in your mouth and buzz on player.

It's funny that the FDA is reviewing it now because I hope their conclusion is that this shit is healthier than soda. I mean there is caffeine but no high fructose corn syrup or any of that shit. Low calorie coffee buzz, they should hire me to lead the marketing division. I'm going to search for this product, review to come.

Why are people surprised

that college athletes smoke pot?

From Huffington Post:
National Center for Drug Free Sport vice president Andrea Wickerham said the arrests of four football players among 15 TCU students and four former students on suspicion of selling marijuana is symbolic of an increasing pot problem in college athletics.

She hopes administrators across the nation are paying attention.
"I hope they don't see this event at TCU as an isolated incident. It's not," she said. "The question is, `What does TCU do about it?' and what do other college administrators do?"

The arrests at TCU came Wednesday, just a month after the NCAA said that 22.6 percent of 20,474 student-athletes participating in an anonymous survey in 2009 admitted to using marijuana the previous 12 months. That number was up from 21.2 percent in 2005.

Dear National Center for Druge Free Sport, college kids smoke pot. If Michael Phelps can do it and crush at the Olympics, then you can smoke a little weed and play football at TCU. Believe me. And as for suspicion of selling marijuana, anyone who is smart and smokes a decent amount of pot should be selling it. It's called cutting costs. If you are going to burn it down all day in the off-season then you sell a little bit to finance your habit. It's just a little bit of weed.

TCU Football equipment closet?

Last night I watched some shit on Nat Geo that pissed me off like nothing else. IT was a Drugs Inc. episode about fake weed and coke and shit. IF you don't want kids smoking Spice and K2 and all that fucking weird synthetic shit then LET US SMOKE WEED. If a smart person tells you they think synthetic weed substitutes are better than the real thing as far as a person's health, they are lying to your fucking face.

People smoke pot, and if they are getting tested then they will get around it. It isn't an indicator of some rising trend of potheads. I know a bunch of NCAA athletes at all levels who do drugs far worse than pot and still perform on the field.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Loser of the Week: 2/13/12

From NY Daily News:
An entrance into President Obama's helicopter's airspace could prove to be a low point for one high-flying private plane.

The privately owned Cessna was intercepted by two Air Force F-16 fighter jets and escorted to Long Beach Airport, where it was met with Secret Service and local law enforcement officials, ABC News reported. Once on the ground, agents found 40 pounds of marijuana inside, sources told the Associated Press.

The President was never in any danger, sources told the AP.
There was an 8 mile radius off-limits to air traffic during Obama's liftoff from California, but officials declined to say how close the pot-filled plane came.

The pilots were turned over to law enforcement after officials determined they posed no threat to Obama.

If you see it, you're already fucked

Talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time. What time did you set up that deal to fly forty pounds of weed to that dude? Well fucking Obama wanted to surf today so you are fucked.

I wouldn't have even landed that bitch, I would dare those idiots to shoot me down. And then they would. But talk about shitting your pants when you land with your forty fucking pounds and the feds meet you on the tarmac. They probably confiscated the bud for Obama's personal use. Loser of the motherfucking week.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Tennessee one up's Oklahoma's ignorance

From Newser:
A controversial bill banning Tennessee elementary and middle school teachers from teaching students about homosexuality got approval from the state's House Education subcommittee yesterday, inching it closer to law. The committee approved the same version of the so-called "Don't Say Gay" bill that the Senate passed late last year, the Tennessean reports, meaning it allows teachers to respond to questions about homosexuality. 

Dozens of Nashville high school students showed up to protest the bill, clad in purple T-shirts. "The basic right as an American is my right to life, my right to liberty, and my right to the pursuit of happiness," said one Democrat who supported the bill. "Within that includes being able to … raise my children as I see fit and to indoctrinate them as I see fit." But opponents of the bill argue that it will give students the impression that homosexuality carries a stigma.

What the fuck is wrong with this fucking country? Do people think that by not teaching their kids about homosexuality they can't turn out gay? More like they repress their identity and then shoot up the fucking school. Sounds like a fucking brilliant plan to me.

The most stupid aspect of this is "raise my children as I see fit and to indoctrinate them as I see fit". Dude just because you learn about fission in science doesn't mean kids are going to dedicate their life to making a nuke. Just because you learn about Hilter doesn't make you come home a Nazi.

I mean for fuck's sake people. Gay people exist, and they are normal just like you and me they just prefer getting boned by dudes. I nt he big scheme of things who gives two fucks? I don't care if people chill at home and unwind after work by fucking a toaster or some shit. Who the fuck cares. I hate ignorant douche bags.

Oklahoma leading the charge in ignorance

From Newser:
The Oklahoma Senate has passed a controversial bill that declares that life begins at the moment of conception, in a landslide 34-8 vote. The Personhood Act passed yesterday after two hours of debate. It's unclear what effect the bill will have, however; its author says it's just a statement and doesn't ban or even restrict abortion rights, birth control access, or stem cell research. He adds that anyone saying so is merely "fear mongering," the Oklahoman reports. 

idiots are in red

The bill had garnered widespread attention after Democrat Constance Johnson introduced a tongue-in-cheek amendment declaring it an act against the unborn for men to waste sperm (click to read it). "It was humorous," Johnson said in yesterday's debate, "but I was serious as a heart attack. … Maybe nobody in this chamber gets it but somebody heard that all we're asking for is for this conversation to include both individuals that are necessary to bring life about." The amendment was tabled.

Jesus. This is some scary shit. Life begins at conception? So at the exact moment when that sperm buries it's head in the egg we have a person? Fuck you. If you think I'm dumb enough to buy that shit you must be drunk. I mean let's be for real, even pro-lifers don't think this is true. They just embrace it because then they can push their anti-abortion agenda.

I mean I'm pretty sure any scientist will tell you that it's hard to say when "life" begins in an embryo. I'll tell you one thing though, an egg with a sperm in it is not a motherfucking person. It just isn't. And it kind of proves my point since the conservative backwash Oklahoma is the first state to put through some shit like this. Apparently Virginia is working on proving to the country that they are idiots as well.

Now I know if I meet anyone from Oklahoma they are an idiot, or at the very least elect idiots to their state goernment.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Half head man is weird

This shit is flying all over the internet. I mean the video has it all. A disfigured guy talking about not drinking and driving while smoking the tiniest blunt I've ever seen. It actually kinda makes me not want to drink and drive. Then his boy calls him out for liking fat chicks. I mean that's pretty un-bro dude.

Oh and live it up dude you'll be dead in less than a day. Nobody blows up Obama's spot on growing pot in the White House, no one.

Humpday Hotty: Jessica Simpson

How the fuck could I have overlooked my girl J Simps after over a year of hottys? It's really inexcusable. Right now she might not be the hottest anything on the planet, but re-watch the Dukes of Hazard remake and enjoy. I have no idea what she's done in the last 5 years besides Tony Homo but who cares.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Man Issues: Valentine's Day

Why the fuck do people go around today telling people "Happy Valentine's Day!"? I mean what if my Valentine dumped me today and you bringing it up just put my day in the fucking shitter.

And even though I do have an awesome woman to celebrate this stupid holiday with, but that doesn't make it any less stupid. I give props to Hallmark, no other company has a holiday to strictly benefit its' industry. I mean I'm sure in two years there will be some kind of holiday involving Apple or iPhones or some shit. You know it's coming.

The ugly truth

Basically this holiday is made to put motherfucking pressure on dudes. Devoting yourself to your woman for 365 days isn't enough? Here's a day where you have the added pressure of buying chocolate or presents and cards and rose petal on the bed and chariot rides and buying ponies and cheese. It's just awful. Who the fuck even uses cards anymore? I usually just do the old Facebook message. Maybe toss in a sideways heart or some shit. That's how I roll.

Monday, February 13, 2012


So because good old American McDonald's isn't good enough for the motherfucking French they felt the need to change it up and Frenchify McDonald's in France.

From NY Daily News:
McDonald's in France is launching a ‘Frenchified' range of products including McBaguettes as well as sandwiches made with regional ‘terroir' cheeses.

Tweaking menus to cater to local taste buds has become the recipe for success for multi-national fast food chains.

The new Cantal sandwich

In France, that means replacing sesame seed buns on McDonald's burgers with crusty baguette breads, and swapping American processed cheese with local, with gourmet terroir cheeses like Fourme d'Ambert and the Saint-Nectaire, both of which are certified AOC. The Appellation d'origine controlee translates to 'controlled designation of origin' and protects a product's terroir and its place of origin.

More details on the new McBaguette sandwiches will be revealed at a media launch February 16 in Paris.

The French are some cocky fuckers. I mean why does McDonald's cave and change their shit up for the fucking frogs? It's not like McDonald's food is "local" anywhere else. Like how the fuck is anyone going to say chicken nuggets and Big Mac's are some kind of local food at all. It's motherfucking fast food. They serve Big Macs, not baguette bullshit. If you want that you French pricks then go to a real restaurant instead of the golden arches like everyone else in the world does.

Little Hefner Arrested

From Newser:
Hugh Hefner's son is making headlines, but not for a good reason: Marston, Hef's 21-year-old son, was arrested last night for allegedly attacking last year's Playmate of the Year … who also just so happens to be his girlfriend. Police were called to the California pad where the younger Hefner lives with Claire Sinclair, 20, after a Sinclair family member called 911. 

Sinclair was visibly injured, law enforcement sources tell TMZ, and she told police Hefner punched and kicked her and then blocked her from leaving. Hefner admitted to an argument, but denied hitting Sinclair, whom he has been dating on-and-off since 2010. 

So this is the latest in a category of stories I call "Ungrateful cocksucker goes nuts". You take one ungrateful cocksucker who's the son of one of the pimpest dudes ever, AND dates the Playmate of the year. So what does this asshole do? He punches and kicks his goddess girlfriend and gets arrested. I bet Hugh is going to bail him out and then have the mansion security beat the piss out of this little fuck. Come on Hef I mean the biggest baller in America should at least be able to keep his twenty-something cocksucker son in line. Step your game up Hef.

Oh and by the way I think there should be some scale in law that deals with domestic abuse. If your girlfriend is determined to be an 8 or higher by a judge then your sentence is more severe. I'm just saying this guy is lucky I'm not in charge or he'd be fucked.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

UTB, The Ultimate Extreme Sport

Saw this over on Brobible and I had to mention it. Just look at this shit.

Fucking psychos. If the invention of this game didn't involve alcohol I'd be extremely surprised. Looks like some shit I would try in the backyard after about a fifth of Jack Daniels.

But I like it, it's like guys who are tough but not MMA tough or talented just go run around and zap each other.

How is Lindsay Lohan not a crackwhore?

So everyone on the hollywood smut sites are buzzing about this side-by-side of Lindsay Lohan. Because she went from hot and sexy and young to looking old and cracked-out and that pussy has probably taken more beatings than a pedophile in jail.

Some scary shit
That second shot is from February 8th. Keep in mind that Lohan was born in 1989. Yeah that's right. Reality check Lindsay, I think the crack is catching up with you. IT's amazing in a few years she went from clear cut Humpday Hotty material to sucking dicks for some meth. Maybe she can snag a role on Breaking Bad.