Snooki is Pregnant?!

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? Snooki is apparently pregnant. You fucking know that her child will be the anti-christ. Just like the Mayans predicted. Goddamnit those dudes were smart.

From TMZ:
Snooki was LYING FOR TWO when she denied pregnancy rumors earlier this month ... but sources tell TMZ the "Jersey Shore" star had a damn good reason -- she didn't want to jinx herself.

Sources close to the MTV star tell us ... Snooks WAS already pregnant when she went on Sirius/XM radio on Feb. 1st and told everyone she was OUTRAGED by the suggestion that she had preggo belly.

But we're told Snooki is taking the situation very seriously ... especially the taboo about revealing the pregnancy before the 3rd month.

Now, it seems Snooki has crossed the 3-month threshold ... and an official announcement could come any moment.

Sweet lord what will she look like 8 months in?

This is not fucking good at all. I mean I thought that Mayan shit was a load of crap but jesus christ it's coming true. The Mayans knew that reality television would spawn the devil that will destroy the world. The end is nigh! It's a sign of things to come. Hide your kids hide your wife. We must try to abort the great satan! I knew Jersey Shore would kill us all eventually.