Weird Looking Asses

From the NY Daily News:
The number of victims of a fake Miami doctor who allegedly pumped dangerous chemicals into their bodies and sealed their wounds with Super Glue has jumped to as many as 30, reports say.

Oneal Ron Morris, 31, who is transgendered and known as “The Duchess,” preyed largely on other transgendered women who hoped to enhance their curves and gain more feminine features, authorities said. But after Morris allegedly injected them with harmful chemicals, including Fix-a-Flat tire sealant, many ended up in the emergency room.

It was previously thought that Morris treated a handful of patients from south Florida, but as many as 30 people have now come forward from as far away as Indiana, the Florida Sun Sentinel reported.
The Duchess allegedly told her patients that she had performed hundreds of successful plastic surgeries using "medical silicone." Morris apparently had her own buttocks enhanced with injections.

The fuck?!

Who in their right mind would let a thing like that inject them with the same shit? Look at that fucking picture and drink in the fucking weirdness of it. Then imagine sitting on the seat next to that freak on the subway. That ogre ass must require three seats at least.

This is one of those situations where I think American law should have a new part. 

 

The "Idiot Clause" will refuse civil claims for people who have agreed to something so dumb that it going wrong is not the fault of the person who tricked them. In this case you should walk into the room, see this bitch talking about how sexy she's going to make you look, and run. If that impulse isn't strong enough to make you sprint out the door you deserve what you get.

Who Got Birds?

So yesterday Snoop Dogg was on the Price is Right to help some nervous nerd slut out with winning a Lincoln Continental.



The fuck Snoop, missing by two bucks on how much Ranch costs? I guess he gets a pass because he probably has hot bitches who shop for him. Fucker.

He's still the biggest pimp in the world hands down. I mean he's yelling at the crowd and making wild guesses, and I mean if Snoop Dogg was in your ear yelling prices you fuckin' better pick the numbers he says. And look how it turns out. You know he fucked both that kinda cute chick who won and the display chick that was next to the car. Wherever Snoop goes, he gets the panties.

Of course you also know he set that chick up to get carjacked immediately. Snoop gets the continental, not you dumb bitch.

So Not Bro

So during the Lions Packers game this weekend a fan got onto the field and was running around like a jackass.



He got gang-tackled by security and a Packers linebacker. Not cool Packers guy. Why do I think it was a shitty move? It is tough as shit to get onto an NFL field. That's why you rarely see it happen. So I say let the fucker take his victory lap and enjoy himself before the cops slap him around and throw him in the drunk tank. Why you gotta be that douchebag player who fucks up a fans good time? Asshole.

Wildcard Weekend 2012

Well it is finally here bros. The NFL Playoffs. Lets break down Wildcard weekend.

The AFC

The AFC this year is pretty weak. Outside of Pittsburgh and the Pats I don't see any real scary teams in terms of Superbowl contenders.

That being said Wild Card Weekend in the AFC could be interesting if the less-skilled teams come together and make something happen.

First make no mistake about it, the short-lived Tebow mania bullshit is over. Denver has been awful for two weeks straight. They blow. Next week they host the Steelers at home and get smacked around pretty good. The Steelers are going to load the box and dare Tebow to throw it, I smell pick city. Winner: Steelers.

Playoff hopes riding on a ginger?

The Bengals are going to have to go into Houston to play the Texans. I like what the Bengals have been able to do with an athletic young team led by Andy Dalton. That being said, Arian Foster is a beast and Matt Shaub isn't completely terrible. I like the Bengals to show that they are contenders again making the upset. Winner: Bengals.

The NFC

The NFC is fucking stacked this year top to bottom. The Wildcard games are going to be sick in my opinion.

The New Orleans Saints are hosting Matt Stafford and the Detroit Lions. Look, in this game my heart says Lions but Drew Brees has been butt-fucking NFL defenses all year. I think it's a shootout and New Orleans comes out on top. Winner: Saints.

You down with JPP?

After absolutely raping the Cowboys Sunday night the Giants are hosting the Atlanta Falcons. And here is what you need Giants fans. Snow, and cold and wind. I think that when the Giants defensive line is aggressive and effective their entire team prospers. But if you let Matty Ice sit in the pocket and pick you apart he will. It will be outside and cold however. I hate to pick against the Falcons but I think the situation points to a Giants win. Winner: Giants.

Oh and fuck Rex Ryan.

Sharks Getting Ready...

To take it up a notch and fuck our days up. Last week I showed you the new octopus land infantry, and now this.

From Newser:
Shark Week will have some new additions this year: Scientists found the first hybrid sharks in the world—57 of them—off the coast of Australia. The animals are a cross between the Australian blacktip shark and the common blacktip shark, and their existence may show that sharks are adapting to climate change, CNN reports. 

While such interbreeding occurs among fish, which lay eggs, it's more deliberate among sharks, which physically mate, notes a scientist. Another researcher notes that the discovery could also mean that other shark and ray species are doing the same inter-breeding. 

DNA testing confirmed the hybridization of the sharks, and further testing will determine their fitness. "Wild hybrids are usually hard to find, so detecting hybrids and their offspring is extraordinary. To find 57 hybrids along (1,200 miles) of coastline is unprecedented," the researcher says.

Imagine this guy...

Mixed with this guy

Great, really fucking great. Like sharks aren't badass enough. Now they learned that if they bone other kinds of sharks they can get even more deadly. This is fucking sweet. You know it's just a matter of time before a great white mans up and bones a huge whale shark, then we have a 30-foot great white. That'll be awesome. I'm done going in the ocean, fuck that shit.