The "New" Four Loko

The Company that makes Four Loko, Phusion Projects, is taking caffeine out of all their drinks to head off the national backlash as a result of people getting fucked-in-half drunk off Four Lokos. All new formulas for their drinks will exclude things like caffeine and taurine. Oh jeez wiz, don't take the bull's balls extract!

The question remains to be answered. How bad will a Four Loko without caffeine, taurine, and guarana fuck your day up? Not as much as the original, that's for sure. Why doesn't the FDA try to outlaw vodka Redbull's as well? What makes that so different?

Here's a problem I see coming. When consumers get their hands on these new, ball-less Four Lokos, they are going to drink one, not be too fucked up, then the mixing begins. Four Loko and Red Bull, Four Loko and Monster, Four Loko with 5 Hour Energy, the list goes on and on. Yeah, that seems fuckin' safe. Lets let college kids figure out the right mix of caffeine and alcohol instead of recieving something that already does it for you.

Maybe they should limit the amount of caffeine allowed in alcoholic beverages, or limit the amount of alcohol in drinks with both. I can't wait until people start jumping off roofs thinking they can fly off three Four Loko and Monsters. Either way, I like how this company is trying to still sell when they're getting banned faster than Pam Anderson at the Vatican.

Four Lokos lives on! Viva la resistance! Fuck the police!

I'll have what he's having