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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Amy Winehouse Dead

So in case you aren't plugged into any media at all and lead a solitary life only to check crucial websites every Sunday night at the library Sundays at 11:13, Amy Winehouse was found dead last night.

R.I.P Amy Winehouse

The cause of death hasn't been determined, although some say that an overdose is probably. No fucking shit. Apparently she was seen earlier in the night by several witnesses, doing what you ask? Buying not only ecstasy and cocaine, but she also was seen buying heroin. Do you know what this means? A Jeffrey killed Amy Winehouse. When they do they autopsy tomorrow the medical examienr will find her lungs full of Jeffrey residue.

From Urban Dictionary:
1. jeffrey 
a mammoth joint filled entirely with an assortment of drugs. marijuana, opium, angel dust, meth, painkillers etc. Half of the ingredients are unknown, but one things for sure, it fucks you up.
Well put, urban dictionary. So anyway Amy Winehouse is the only person who does this. She's sitting at home smoking crack and watching Get Him to the Greek, a mellow Saturday night. Then she see's the scene when Jonah Hill and Russell Brand smoke the Jeffrey.

And this is where a normal person laughs and says "Hey man, let's go smoke a Jeffrey!" Laughter ensues. And you go smoke some weed.

But Amy Winehouse  goes to buy some ecstacy, cocaine and heroin, and rolls a Jeffrey for herself. And she couldn't find a fucking furry wall to stroke.

In all seriousness though, the London cocaine market just lost it's biggest client. A sad day for all British crack dealers.

You probably should have said "Yes" to rehab.

1 comment:

  1. i bet she died of a broken heart like jesus. is that why london is rioting??