I Support KONY

Alright yesterday I guarantee you got spammed by this fucking anti-KONY shit. Kony is the leader of a group in Uganda who are committing war crimes and slaughtering people. 

Here is my letter to the fucking people spamming everywhere.

Dear Idiots,
On behalf of rational people everywhere I beseech you, stop spamming Facebook with this Kony shit. Here is a list of other massive slaughters going on around the world that you haven't heard of or don't care about for some reason

1. Somalia
2. Congo
3. Burma
4. Sudan
5. Syria

So I'm going to take the liberty of establishing some rules to seperate people who actually care about the slaughter in Uganda and those who are being fuckers.

Rule One: I promise that 99% of Americans can't locate Uganda on a map or even talk about the country at all.

Rule Two: Liking a Facebook post or reposting some article about the incident doesn't actually do anything. If you want to actually help then fucking sign up to join the UN peacekeeping forces or get off your motherfucking computer and raise money to help victims or something. Social media doesn't stop bullets you fucking first world morons.

Rule Three: You can only say you care about genocide if you care ALL THE TIME. I know everyone is just reading one article going "oh no how terrible!" reposting the stupid thing and then continuing on with their lives.

Listen, just don't act like some holier-than-thou activist when you really aren't. I know you are more concerned with your March Madness pool than people being killed in Africa. I just ask that people be honest.

Anyway if you want to sit through a 30 minute guilt trip about a country you don't know or understand than tune in for this snoozer that started all the hipster humanitarians in a frenzy.



But just be honest and don't watch it because I know you don't care enough to actually do anything. I'll be the first to admit that I don't.

And if you do care, power to you. Go grab an AK and a plane ticket and make the dude stop.