Loser of the Week: 3/5/12

So as far as losers go, this weeks is real dumb. Like full-retard type stuff.

From Newser:
Janaka Basnayake's world record attempt went tragically and terrifyingly wrong Saturday: The Sri Lankan man was attempting to set the record for longest time spent buried alive, but he was pronounced dead shortly after being unearthed. 

Friends and family helped to bury Basnayake in a 10-foot-deep trench sealed with wood and soil around 9:30am, and he was brought to the surface, unconscious, at 4pm, the AP reports, citing local media. Basnayake's mother says he had twice buried himself previously, staying under for two and a half hours once and six hours another time. It is not clear whether a record for longest time buried alive officially exists.

Hour 1

Wait a minute, the longest time buried might not even exist? So why the fuck would this guy try for like 6 hours? What the fuck kind of sense is that. How fuckin' dumb can a person be? Of all world records to try for why would the one that seems like guaranteed death sound good? Straight up idiot.

Gregg Williams is fucked

From ESPN:
Former Saints and current Rams defensive coordinator Gregg Williams has been called to New York to meet with NFL security officials Jeff Miller and Joe Hummel on Monday for another round of dialogue pertaining to alleged violations of the league's bounty rules, according to sources.

It is likely NFL executive vice president and general counsel Jeff Pash will also be involved in the Monday discussions, a source said. 

There is no set time for Williams and commissioner Roger Goodell to meet, though it is possible the two could talk while Williams is in New York, sources said.

The NFL on Friday said an investigation by its security department found that Williams and several Saints players employed an illegal bounty system, financially rewarding defensive players for big plays, including knocking opponents out of games during the 2009-11 seasons. 

The NFL said between 22 and 27 Saints defensive players were involved in the team's bounty program and that it was administered by Williams, with the knowledge of coach Sean Payton. In some cases, the amounts pledged were both significant and directed against a specific opposing player, including former quarterbacks Brett Favre and Kurt Warner, according to the league's investigation.

About to pay out the ass

I don't agree with the fact that Gregg Williams is fucked, but that doesn't change the fact that he is. Roger Goodell is anti-hits. He wants to make an example of the Saints. No more head-hunting in the last year, even leading with the shoulder has drawn some stupid fucking fines. So letting the NFL find out you run a defensive bounty program? Probably not good. Dude better be shredding any evidence ASAP. Because Goodell will be a prick about this shit. The whole Saints organization is probably about to pay a huge-ass fine.

What we have watched these past few years is Roger Goodell turning the NFL into a glamor league. The quarterback and diva recievers are protected from the big bad linebackers and cornerbacks. Even sniffing the reciever before the ball is in his hands draws a flag, if you disagree watch the Pats defense. Every single game they give up like a 50-yard pass interference play. It's bullshit.

And of course every team probably has a bounty program. You want your defense to know that they are supposed to knock the quarterback down. To shake him up. To make him make mistakes. It's what defense is. Fuck Roger Goodell.

Rush Limbaugh's advertisers dropping like flies

From NY Daily News:
Another one bites the Rush.

The conservative shock jock has lost his seventh advertiser after spewing insulting remarks about a female Georgetown law student last week.

E-Retailer ProFlowers said Sunday they were suspending advertising on Limbaugh's program, joining the half dozen other companies who have dumped the darling of the Republican party for branding 30-year-old Sandra Fluke "a slut" for supporting a policy to require insurance companies to cover birth control.

"Mr. Limbaugh's recent comments went beyond political discourse to a personal attack and do not reflect our values as a company," ProFlowers said in a post on Facebook.

Limbaugh attacked the former Upper West Sider after she testified to Congressional Democrats last Wednesday in favor of a health care policy that would require all employers and other organizations — including her Catholic university — to cover the cost of contraceptives for women.

Limbaugh slammed Fluke as "a slut" and "a prostitute" and mockingly urged her to post sex videos online "so we can all watch."

Yeah Rush, you are an asshole

Fuck Rush Limbaugh. I listen to the conservative radio idiots every now and then to see what crazy shit they are on that day and he is the worst. I mean he talks shit all day about liberals and shit and I'm a firm believer in the first amendment. But guess what isn't protected under the constitution? Your ad space you old douchebag.

So ream out women and liberals and queers and whoever, but you are responsible to a fucking company trying to make money, and it isn't easy in radio even if your host isn't an ignorant and arrogant pill-popping man-child who thinks that just because his retard listeners will believe anything he says that gives him the right to call anybody out for anything.

Remember when Imus in the morninig called the Rutger women's hoops nappy-headed hoes? Yeah well his new radio show is on like the agriculture channel. Think he wishes he'd watched his fucking bigoted old man mouth? I'm sure as shit he does.

Dog Fucker

From The Smoking Gun:
FEBRUARY 28--Meet Sarah Walker.

The 33-year-old photographer was arrested yesterday by Arizona cops for allegedly plotting with her husband and another man to procure a male golden shepherd so that she could have sex with the dog.
Maricopa County Sheriff's Office deputies busted Walker, her husband Shane, a 38-year-old flight attendant, and Robert Aucker, 29, on a felony count of conspiring to commit an act of bestiality.

According to a probable cause affidavit, an undercover investigator earlier this month spotted a Craigslist ad titled “Wife looking for a K9,” which noted, “Let us know were and when we are looking for now.” During an exchange of e-mails with the targets, the undercover detective was told that the husband and wife “wanted a male dog to have sexual intercourse with the wife.”

At one point during the correspondence, the investigator was “offered sexual favors with the wife before the bestiality would occur,” the affidavit reports.

This is fucked up even for craigslist. I mean come on people jesus christ. Go adopt a stray to fuck or something, why the need to have a stranger bring the dog? I think bestiality is probably the grossest thing I can think of. And you gotta love the offer for the dude to get it wet before the dog does. No thanks crazy bitch, no thanks.


Oh and I thought it was common knowledge by now that cops just live on craigslist so it usually isn't the best to advertise something illegal. You know that one dude who has a dog to plow you is a fed. Come on people.

Does the warlock help fiat win?

Hopefully you didn't die yesterday because I didn't post any funny and intriguing stories. Well bitch, I had a snow day and got my 8-year-old on by building a snow fort all day. Get at me.

So Charlie Sheen is due back on the silver screen in June with a new series on FX. But for now he just copped a Fiat ad.



Two questions.

First, he definitely fucked that broad in the ad right? I'm betting yes.

And second, does anyone own a fucking Fiat? I know they just bought up a bunch of dealerships in the US and the cars look pretty sweet but I don't know a single fucking person who has one. I mean they are stacking on the advertisements, first the J Lo ad fiasco, now they've enlisted the Warlock to slang cars. We'll see if it works.