Ugly as Shit, but I Still Want One

So apparently there's some kind of weird monkey in Myanmar that can tell when it's going to rain. I mean where were these fuckers when Katrina hit? If there was one of these monkeys in New Orleans it probably would have freaked out and blown its own head off, saving the lives of many people. And who knows, they probably have a cousin monkey out there in the jungle somewhere that can cure cancer with its shit or something.

But not to make ugly rain detecting monkey feel too bad, here's the worlds most beat chick. WARNING, the following woman is so beat, your dick may retract inward, causing confusion. It happened to me. This is not a Halloween thing, this woman is in Ripley's as the ugliest woman in the world, I'm sure pappy is proud. I'm surprised he didn't just take her out back and put her down. Rest assured, I do NOT want one of those.