The End of Sumo as we Know It

The world of sports is coming to an abrupt end. Yesterday it was released that Japan's national sports, Sumo wrestling, has had matches being fixed for some time now. Police found text messages on wrestler's phones talking about fixing the matches, even what finishing moves would be used by the victor. The police are not taking any action though because apparently match-fixing isn't illegal in Japan.

Ahhhhh Godzirra!

Apparently Sumo has been getting it's day fucked up in recent years. Between links to organized crime, widespread marijuana use among wrestlers (how the fuck could you get that big?), and issues with gambling on other sports, like baseball, it has been a rough couple years for the world's greatest sport. More details at the Guardian.

Apparently there is so much fucking money bet on every Sumo match that the fat-fucks couldn't resist fixing the matches to pay for their meals. I mean look Japan, when you are a bad-ass Sumo wrestler, certain things come with the territory. You smoke weed, because it keeps you hungry. You get mad dough from fixing matches, so of course you have to gamble it, Michael Jordan style, on anything under the sun. Of course you love organized crime, because they are the bookies you bet with. It's just how it goes. IT ain't that big of a deal. I mean maybe start by making match-fixing illegal. There's a start. I mean, your country basically breeds these big fuckers, so you deal with them. I know they look like Godzirra compared to most of you, but stand up to them. They rely on you for food, use that leverage. Fucking pussies.