I Spoke Too Soon

Just as I was making fun of fucking loser Somali pirates last week, it broke today that four American hostages taken by pirates off the Somali coast were killed. The yacht "Quest" and it's passengers were close to the Somali coast when they were hijacked. The Navy began to follow the yacht on Saturday, and Navy forces took action because the Quest was moving toward the coast. Apparently you don't need to be a genius to figure out that if the pirates get the people to land, they're basically fucked. The US military ain't fucking with any Blackhawk Down shit again.

Apparently the military was in contact with the pirates financier, AKA Eric Cartman, and negotiations went badly due to something about "respecting his authority." So then at 1am Eastern time last night, the pirates shot a fucking RPG at the Navy ship following them, because that's what pirates do. So then the Navy sends in the Seals and fucks up the hijackers, killing two and capturing 13. But the hostages were also killed. Go figure. Full story at the NY Times.

We release douchebags when Beat Blathering admit we're not pussies!

Okay, so obviously Somali pirates read the Blathering and they wanted to show me up. Touche pirates, touche. I mean this whole thing does seem kind of stupid though. First of all, when the fuck are people going to learn not to sail their yachts close to possibly the most unstable, broken country in the world? Arrogant pricks deserved what they got. And to the pirates, there were 19 of you when you hijacked the fucking boat. How the fuck can you have 19 dudes on a ship, with hostages, and 15 dudes pull up alongside, kill two of you and capture the rest, just like that? Have some fucking pirate pride. If you're on a boat and dudes, even if they are Navy Seals, are coming at you, feel free to do something.

So I guess I have to eat my own words and admit that pirates are back. And they are fucking ready to blow away some hostages too. This isn't some storybook Jack Sparrow bullshit, they are blowing people away and shooting RPG's at Navy ships. They mean business.