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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Do I Hate Pauly D Already?

I used to like DJ Pauly D. I think of all the Jersey Shore cast he is grinding the hardest. He isn't wrestling and fucking around, he is trying to sell himself as a real DJ. And he is getting gigs all over the fucking place. Dude is milking his 15 minutes for all they are worth.

So the Smoking Gun got ahold of Pauly D's "rider." For those of you shmucks who aren't down with showbiz lingo a rider is essentially the artists demands that the venue has to fulfill for them to place at that location. SOme artists are famous for having ridiculously specific and demanding riders. Apparently even though he is only a DJ and barely legit, Pauly D's rider is crazy. And makes him look like the biggest douchebag ever.

From the Smoking Gun:

APRIL 27--Since fist-pumping his way to fame as an alpha guido on the MTV show “Jersey Shore," Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio has parlayed his reality TV gig into a burgeoning career as a club DJ--and he has a tour rider filled with A-list celebrity demands.

Though the three-page document is worth careful analysis, here are some highlights:
• In light of the “grenades” and “landmines” littering clubs, security is tight for the 30-year-old’s appearances. “A member of the security staff will be provided to meet and escort TALENT upon arrival at the airport and accompany the talent between airport/hotel and venue and lead TALENT into the venue and VIP area,” the rider stipulates. “Under no circumstances will TALENT be allowed in any public area unaccompanied by security.” DelVecchio is the “TALENT” in question here.

• In the “VIP AREA,” a large table must be reserved “for the sole use of TALENT” (again, that is a reference to DelVecchio). Nobody other than “TALENT and Talent’s entourage” shall have access to the area with the permission of DelVecchio’s road manager. Yes, DelVecchio’s rider actually refers to his “entourage.”

• While Ron-Ron Juice might be the drink of choice in Seaside Heights, the only liquors worthy of DelVecchio’s VIP table are liters of Grey Goose vodka and Patron tequila.

• DelVecchio also demands the provision of four bottles of “House Champagne.” The bubbly, though, will not be consumed by the DJ and his three-person posse. Instead, it will be used “to spray crowd.”

• The rider stipulates that the opening DJ must operate from a separate DJ booth. “Pauly would prefer to play from a stage as opposed to permanent club DJ Booth.”

• As for transportation, promoters must purchase four airline tickets for the DelVecchio traveling party (two of the seats are required to be in Business Class). Additionally, DelVecchio notes that “Windows & Isles are mandatory” for all airplane seats--even for Turtle and Drama back in coach.

• DelVecchio requires a suite in a “FOUR OR FIVE STAR HOTEL ONLY.” His cronies are left to slum it in “deluxe single rooms.” Along with DelVecchio, each member of the DJ’s entourage get a $150 per diem, so perhaps they could spring for an upgrade.

• “Your girl’s favorite DJ” makes it clear that there can be “ABSOLUTELY NO use of MTV name/logo and Jersey Shore logo in any and all promotional materials” advertising his appearance. Violations of this edict “will result in immediate cancellation of the appearance and forfeiture of deposit.”

DelVecchio’s next scheduled DJ gig is at the Palms Pool & Bungalows in Las Vegas. Surprisingly, tickets remain available.

Dude is barely lucky to have a career at all and he is making these fucking demands. If you are as fascinated by this asinine rider then peep the full thing here. Motherfucker is three pages long.

Some of the shit I understand. Like a nice hotel. Alright, that is reasonable. But "Window and Isle are Mandatory"? What the fuck is that man? You really can't be bothered to sit next to a stranger? Dude, you are used to club on the Jersey Shore, I think one smelly businessman cramming in next to you wouldn't kill your ass.

And only Grey Goose and Patron? I mean Patron I'm okay with, that shit is delicious and will fuck your day up. But Grey Goose? Typical Guido thinking that just because some shit is over-priced is must be good. You just got suckered by the price tag, fucking moron.


I'm sorry Pauly, but I hate you now. Vinny is my favorite. Fucking dudes from Providence think they are real people. When will they learn?

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