Man Issues: Valentine's Day

Why the fuck do people go around today telling people "Happy Valentine's Day!"? I mean what if my Valentine dumped me today and you bringing it up just put my day in the fucking shitter.

And even though I do have an awesome woman to celebrate this stupid holiday with, but that doesn't make it any less stupid. I give props to Hallmark, no other company has a holiday to strictly benefit its' industry. I mean I'm sure in two years there will be some kind of holiday involving Apple or iPhones or some shit. You know it's coming.

The ugly truth

Basically this holiday is made to put motherfucking pressure on dudes. Devoting yourself to your woman for 365 days isn't enough? Here's a day where you have the added pressure of buying chocolate or presents and cards and rose petal on the bed and chariot rides and buying ponies and cheese. It's just awful. Who the fuck even uses cards anymore? I usually just do the old Facebook message. Maybe toss in a sideways heart or some shit. That's how I roll.

McFrenchies

So because good old American McDonald's isn't good enough for the motherfucking French they felt the need to change it up and Frenchify McDonald's in France.

From NY Daily News:
McDonald's in France is launching a ‘Frenchified' range of products including McBaguettes as well as sandwiches made with regional ‘terroir' cheeses.

Tweaking menus to cater to local taste buds has become the recipe for success for multi-national fast food chains.

The new Cantal sandwich

In France, that means replacing sesame seed buns on McDonald's burgers with crusty baguette breads, and swapping American processed cheese with local, with gourmet terroir cheeses like Fourme d'Ambert and the Saint-Nectaire, both of which are certified AOC. The Appellation d'origine controlee translates to 'controlled designation of origin' and protects a product's terroir and its place of origin.

More details on the new McBaguette sandwiches will be revealed at a media launch February 16 in Paris.

The French are some cocky fuckers. I mean why does McDonald's cave and change their shit up for the fucking frogs? It's not like McDonald's food is "local" anywhere else. Like how the fuck is anyone going to say chicken nuggets and Big Mac's are some kind of local food at all. It's motherfucking fast food. They serve Big Macs, not baguette bullshit. If you want that you French pricks then go to a real restaurant instead of the golden arches like everyone else in the world does.

Little Hefner Arrested

From Newser:
Hugh Hefner's son is making headlines, but not for a good reason: Marston, Hef's 21-year-old son, was arrested last night for allegedly attacking last year's Playmate of the Year … who also just so happens to be his girlfriend. Police were called to the California pad where the younger Hefner lives with Claire Sinclair, 20, after a Sinclair family member called 911. 

Sinclair was visibly injured, law enforcement sources tell TMZ, and she told police Hefner punched and kicked her and then blocked her from leaving. Hefner admitted to an argument, but denied hitting Sinclair, whom he has been dating on-and-off since 2010. 

So this is the latest in a category of stories I call "Ungrateful cocksucker goes nuts". You take one ungrateful cocksucker who's the son of one of the pimpest dudes ever, AND dates the Playmate of the year. So what does this asshole do? He punches and kicks his goddess girlfriend and gets arrested. I bet Hugh is going to bail him out and then have the mansion security beat the piss out of this little fuck. Come on Hef I mean the biggest baller in America should at least be able to keep his twenty-something cocksucker son in line. Step your game up Hef.

Oh and by the way I think there should be some scale in law that deals with domestic abuse. If your girlfriend is determined to be an 8 or higher by a judge then your sentence is more severe. I'm just saying this guy is lucky I'm not in charge or he'd be fucked.

UTB, The Ultimate Extreme Sport

Saw this over on Brobible and I had to mention it. Just look at this shit.



Fucking psychos. If the invention of this game didn't involve alcohol I'd be extremely surprised. Looks like some shit I would try in the backyard after about a fifth of Jack Daniels.

But I like it, it's like guys who are tough but not MMA tough or talented just go run around and zap each other.

How is Lindsay Lohan not a crackwhore?

So everyone on the hollywood smut sites are buzzing about this side-by-side of Lindsay Lohan. Because she went from hot and sexy and young to looking old and cracked-out and that pussy has probably taken more beatings than a pedophile in jail.

Some scary shit

That second shot is from February 8th. Keep in mind that Lohan was born in 1989. Yeah that's right. Reality check Lindsay, I think the crack is catching up with you. IT's amazing in a few years she went from clear cut Humpday Hotty material to sucking dicks for some meth. Maybe she can snag a role on Breaking Bad.