NYPD can't rock their own shit

From Newser:
The NYPD logo is emblazoned on everything from hats and shirts to tie clips and coffee mugs, but all those items are now off limits to New York City cops, reports Murray Weiss at DNA Info. Police chief Ray Kelly has issued a new rule forbidding the city's 35,000 cops from owning any merchandise with the logo—the only exception being their uniform. 

The reason? Sources say Kelly made the move after seeing an officer wearing an NYPD T-shirt bearing the phrase, "Kill Them All and Let God Sort It Out." 

The official rule states that it's forbidden to wear "any item of apparel which contains a Department logo or shield, or in any way identifies its wearer with the New York City Police Department unless approved by the Uniform and Equipment Review Committee, prior to being worn by a member of the service, uniformed or civilian, on or off-duty." Or as one cop carps, “The NYPD logo is now on a par with al-Qaeda and bin Laden. We can’t display them.”

Dude. What the fuck? I mean why isn't the rule against wearing slogans not sanctioned by the NYPD? How come cops can't wear NYPD hats or shit because of a fucking tee-shirt? That's some bullshit. I mean I have no love for cops but this is just going too far.

Girls Drink Donkey Jizz on Fear Factor

This is just so confusing. Oh and quit bitching about no posts until three, I just finished my first two P90x workouts and I'm dying. Anyway.

From TMZ:
The chick who chugged donkey baby batter on "Fear Factor" tells TMZ ... the act DOES NOT constitute bestiality ... despite the sexual manner in which the elixir was harvested.

TMZ spoke with Claire -- the smokin' hot chick at the heart of the donkey controversy ... who tells us she and her twin sister Brynne are "proud" they rose to the challenge on the show, even though NBC pulled the episode. 

We asked if there's a difference between the FF stunt and bestiality porn, to which they replied, "There's a large difference ... no sexual acts involved."

When we asked Claire (who drank the semen) and Brynne (who drank urine) if they would do it again ... they answered, "Probably, we are proud of what we did." 



When I first saw this story I figured it would be some beat-ass chicks or something desperate for fame. But no, it's these two cute twins who defend their drinking of donkey piss and semen. I mean like what the fuck? How is drinking semen not a sex act? I mean the semen is inside the donkey, and then you have to commit some kind of sex act to get it out right? Too far Fear Factor, too far.

Ballin' dude chooses chauffer over wife

From Newser:
A chauffeur and a doorman are suddenly well-off after music mogul Alan Meltzer left them both a large chunk of his $10 million estate. Meltzer "was such a nice guy," says his chauffeur, who got $1 million. "He was always joking. He never looked down on anybody." 

The former head of Wind-Up Records died about a year after divorcing his wife. His doorman received around $500,000. "He was a generous guy," says the doorman. "It’s a surprise." 

Making the heartwarming story decidedly less heartwarming is this colorful quote from Meltzer's ex, who lost out on her share of the estate: "He can leave it to whoever he wants to. I’m doing fine. I could care less," she tells the New York Post. "If he wants to give it to the bums, he can give it to the bums. He could f*** a nun. I couldn’t give a s***. He can give his money to whoever he wants. We’re divorced. The man is dead."

Ballin' out like a motherfucker. Ex-wife don't get shit but his doorman and cahuffer got hooked the motherfuck up. I mean a chauffer is basically a driver and a bodyguard so that makes sense. But the dude who opens the door for you and brings your whip around? I wish I could do a menial job for a rich person and when they croak just get half a mil right quick.

This guy didn't get 500k but he's happy anyway

And you gotta love the "he could fuck a nun" comment. Classic spiteful ex-wife bullshit. That dudes will was an awesome fuck you to the old ball and chain. That's what I call the last laugh.

Sick water balloon headshot

This video just made my motherfucking Monday. I was feeling shitty about making any attempt at doing work today so I was browsing the web and found this gem.


s

I mean look at that fucking shot. With a launcher from deep, the headshot?! That's like the equivalent of hitting an 900 meter snipe in Battlefield 3.



BAM! Two ridiculous headshots in one fuckin' post.

Shaun White is a Fuck

So in case you missed the last night of the X Games last night there were sick finals in snowmobile big air and the snowboarding Superpipe. In the Superpipe Shaun White and his fake busted ankle crushed on everyone. This was his run after he already had it in the bag.



Now that was a fucking ridiculous fucking run no doubt. So just let him have his 5-peat. But no, the judges gave him a motherfucking 100. A perfect score. Even though his hands clearly touch on the last landing. You have to dock a motherfucker like half a point for that shit. But snowboarding sucks on Shaun White's dick so I guess that can be expected. I mean a 100 score is basically admitting that he is the best athlete there sport will ever see. Which he might be.

By the way nice skinny snowboard pants bro. I don't care if sports science says they make you more aerodynamic they look fucking fruity as hell.

Oh and there was a pretty decent trick for the win in the sled big air finals.



Dude's name is Frisby too. Pretty badass.

Superbowl Rematch

So now the issues have all been settled. The Packers and Steelers and Ravens have choked and the two teams left in the NFL are the New England Patriots and the New York Giants.

In 2007 the Patriots were riding a year of records. Randy Moss broke some, Tom Brady broke others on the way to the Patriots 18-0 record. And then this happened.



Eli Manning squirms to his first Superbowl victory and the Patriots perfect season was crushed. Two weeks from now we will have a Superbowl rematch.

Pyah!

Like 2007 the Giants have gotten hot at the right time. Sometimes ugly in the regular season, they are now healthy with a defensive line that will give any NFL team match-up issues and a quarterback in Eli was has stopped making game-losing mistakes and of course breakout receivers like Manningham and Cruz and shit. And Eli is an elite quarterback in the NFL even though his own team's fans hate on him when he sucks for a game or two.

But of course the Pats are coming out on top.


I mean on offense forget about it. Unless the Giants front four can have Tom Brady under pressure every single play the Giants d will get carved up. It's Tom Brady in the Superbowl, you're going to get scored on.

The Giants offense is really one of the keys to this game. Will the under-rated all year Pats defense hold up against Eli and his crew of diva receivers? I say yes sir but who the fuck knows how it will go down. Having Patrick Chung back at safety is huge for the Pats and hopefully Brandon Spikes will help stifle the Giants running game. If the Pats secondary can prevent Eli from hitting those fast receivers some of the time the Pats will have a chance.

In the end it will come down to turnovers. The offense that converts points will beat the one that coughs up a pick or fumble. Or the team with the shitty kicker who shanks a 35 yard chip, but that can't happen in the NFL right? Hopefully it's an awesome game with some funny-as-hell advertisements.

Chicken nugget girl surprisingly has health issues

From Dailymail:
Medics gave her a series of injections and started her on an urgent course of vitamins.
But, despite being warned that she could die if she sticks to her nugget addiction, she still can’t resist the fast food.

Favourite restaurant: Miss Irvine outside her local McDonald's in Birmingham

Miss Irvine, who prefers McDonald’s treats but also enjoys KFC’s, told The Sun: ‘I am starting to realise this is really bad for me.’

One of her favourite pastimes is sharing 20 nuggets and a portion of fries with her boyfriend.
Yet, despite a diet that regularly means she eats at least a third more than the 56g of fat recommended by experts, she manages to keep relatively trim.

This may be down to the amount of exercise she does or to her metabolism.
But the craving is taking a toll on her health. A lack of vital vitamins and other nutrients - combined with a dangerous amount of salt - can raise blood pressure and weaken the immune system. 

It can also lead to an increased risk of heart attacks or strokes, particularly as Miss Irvine gets older.

Damn I mean I thought Supersize Me was crazy. This shit is out of control. Bitch had a chicken nugget and gave up on life basically. No fruits or veggies for this moron, just fake-ass chicken shaped into little poops. This makes my diet look  motherfuckin' balanced. I mean seriously, how many chicken nuggets can you shove down your pie hole? And why isn't that chick fat? I'm so confused by this whole thing.

And every fucking time I put up a loser of the week like twelve minutes after I find a bigger loser. Bullshit.

Loser of the Week: 1/23/12

Sweet lord that made my balls hurt.

OSU player ejected for drunking too hard

And boom goes the dynamite.

Demi Moore Likes Hippie Crack?

When this Demi Moore seizure story came out on Tuesday I didn't really give a flying fuck. But now some interesting details about the cause of the seizure have come out.

From TMZ:
Demi Moore's friend called paramedics Monday night after the actress inhaled a dangerous amount of nitrous oxide ... TMZ has learned.
 
Sources tell TMZ ... one of Demi's friends who was at her home told emergency workers Demi was doing whip-its. A whip-it is a street name for a type of nitrous oxide inhalant.

The friend said she became upset when Demi had a reaction to a whip-it and lapsed into semi-consciousness.

It appears Demi had symptoms of a seizure -- after inhaling the nitrous.

A whip-it is not a common drug among people of Demi's age and social status. It's typically used by younger people who are looking for a cheap thrill.

No shit it's not typical for her age and social status. Nitrous is pure hippy crack. Why Demi doesn't stick with rich people drugs like coke I'll never know. Hell even hit some salvia with Miley Cyrus or some shit Demi.

Whip-it good

Has she been hanging out with Steve-O? I mean how many rich celebrities huff nitrous? The list has got to be pretty fucking short. No wonder Ashton Kutcher is staying the fuck away from this wild bitch.

Other than those sketchballs at concert with balloons where the fuck do you even get nitrous? Maybe she just wants to relive her youth because she's getting so old. If that's the case we can expect a coke-fueled sex tape soon. Nice.

Pussy Roger Goodell gets Exntension

From ESPN:
NEW YORK -- NFL commissioner Roger Goodell's contract was extended Wednesday through the 2018 season.

The 52-year-old Goodell took over for Paul Tagliabue in 2006. His original five-year contract was extended in 2009, and the new extension runs through March 2019.

He was rewarded by the 32 clubs after one of the league's most successful seasons, even though it was preceded by a 4½-month lockout that led to a new 10-year collective bargaining agreement. Goodell made about $10 million, including bonuses, in his previous deal; during the lockout, he had a $1 salary.

No terms were disclosed for the new contract.

Goodell has made player safety and discipline his main focal points, and the league has ramped up fines and even suspensions for illegal hits. He also has been criticized for how the league dealt with retired players and with post-career health issues such as brain trauma; both issues have become priorities for Goodell and the league in recent years.

The Pussy Commissioner

This is what the fucking NFL needs, this guy to keep pussifying the league. By the time this motherfucker's new contract is up defensive backs won't be allowed to tackle wide receivers until the receiver gives a "ready" sign. And even then any time a part of the defender hits the receiver anywhere besides the chest, automatic fine and three game suspension. That's where this dude has the NFL headed. Fuckin' sweet.

Miley and the Cock Cake

It's been all over the web already. Miley Cyrus licking all over the cake for her boyfriend Liam's birthday. Fear not smut-viewer for I have stolen the goods.

Damn, she kinda is getting into that shit huh? Someone got a nice ball-licking for his birthday. I mean if she's going to service the cake she has to service Liam on his B-day right?

Miley Cyrus sure has come a fucking long way since she was all daddy's girl and shit huh? First the salvia pictures and video then her talking about pot, now she just straight licks some cake balls for the camera. She'll be snorting blow off Robert Downey Jr.'s cock in less than a year guarantee it.

Google at it Again

So everyone knows Google is one of the most powerful companies in the world because of the vast amount of information it possesses. This information is then used to sell advertisements on Google websites. Well apparently in March Google is unifying it's privacy policies for all it's programs.

From Newser:
Google's new privacy policy, designed to unify its various services, is not expected to be announced until March 1, but already consumer advocates are warning that the digital giant will be tracking and combining more information about us than ever before, reports the Guardian. Google says its new rules will be greatly simplified, as the company currently has more than 70 different privacy policies, but critics say there is too much room for Google to abuse that data. "In short, we'll treat you as a single user across all our products, which will mean a simpler, more intuitive Google experience," said a Google spokesman. 

Google plans on treating all of its services—YouTube, Gmail, Google Maps, Google+ and Android mobile—as a single collection of data, which can better target advertising and other revenue-generating services. There will be no way of opting out of being tracked, according to reports. "There is no way a user can comprehend the implication of Google collecting across platforms for information about your health, political opinions and financial concerns," said one privacy expert. Google has recently come under fire for adding Google+ information to its searches , which critics say undermines the neutrality of its search engine.

Look, I'll be honest, I think this whole thing is just a means for Google to operate easier. If the privacy policy is unified then they can collect and organize data more easily.

That being said, Google will now have a user's data across all Google products which means that they can use Gmail and Google+ in tandem to sell advertisers on things about us. Put all kinds of outdoors shit on your Google+? Get outdoor store ads and shit like that. I'm not sure it's that huge of a deal, but with Google they are always trying to learn more and more about us to make money, and that's the bottom line.

Hate Politicians? Laugh at 'em

So apparently this group Songify  is all about fucking with the media and politics and shit. And they have Joseph Gordon-Levitt on board from Inception so they've been doing okay.

Straight Cash Homey

At 1:24 when Newt talks about hiring 30 + kids instead of one janitor I think that is the most confusing statement I've ever heard. Until I heard the Auto-tuned Newt saying cash money. Classic. Motherfucker drops "cash money" more than Lil Wayne, and that dudes brain can only think up like 4 phrases these days.

Tori Black Arrested

So Tori Black is more than just a soulless cum-dumpster apparently. She is also a shit mother and packs a mean punch.

From TMZ:
Award-winning porn star Tori Black and her baby daddy were arrested for domestic battery in Las Vegas after the couple got into a drunken brawl over their infant's baby formula.

Officers responded to a domestic dispute call at Tori's Hard Rock Hotel room early Friday morning. According to the police report, Tori -- real name Michelle Chapman -- told cops she had been drinking before she got back to the room where her fiance, Lyndell Anderson, and their 5-month old son were waiting.

The report states Tori and Lyndell started arguing because, as Tori told police ... Lyndell didn't have "enough breast milk" to feed the baby.

The two-time AVN Performer of the Year then claims Lyndell called her an "unfit mother" ... and that's when things got physical. In the report, police say Tori admitting punching Lyndell in the back of the head, but also claimed he shoved her into a wall.

According to the report, police reviewed the hotel security tape of the hallway outside the couple's room and saw Lyndell push Tori "with such violent force that she flies across the hall." Police say she had bruises on her arms.

She hits back

Nothing like fighting over breast milk. Now my question is if you don't have enough titty milk for the baby can't you just tap those bad boys and get some? Does it not work like that? 

Second, if you are the guy in a domestic dispute, don't say "she pushed me too". Shit doesn't work. You are a man and she is a cock-hungry cesspool of disease. You should take the high road. Like the cops will be like "oh your wife punched you so you threw her across the hallway? Fair enough." That will never happen. You are fucked.

On the plus side once these two are in jail their child will most likely end up in foster care and begin his career as a troubled emotionless pornstar. Like mommy like son after all.

Jorge Posada to Retire

From ESPN:
NEW YORK -- With tears filling his eyes, Jorge Posada announced his retirement from baseball on Tuesday. Posada began the press conference by reading from a prepared statement, calling his experience as a Yankee "priceless." 

He thanked many in and outside the Yankees organization, including his wife, Laura, whom he called his "rock." When he got to his teammates, he briefly cried as he spoke about his best friend, shortstop Derek Jeter. 

"Hopefully, you won't miss me that much," Posada said to Jeter, who was in attendance.

Ay Jorge!

Yeah right Jorge, don't fucking worry. You were a great Yankee back in the day but right now Jeter wants your salary off the motherfuckin' books don't get it twisted.


All Yankee hate aside I respect athletes who stay with a team for their entire career. I mean normally I'd say that shows that it isn't about the money to them, but when the organization is the Yankees, it's obviously about the cashish. But seriously, I hate the Yankees but I love athletes that come out and just say "I want to be here for the rest of my career," and would rather retire than possibly get traded to stumble into the sunset as the 8th hitter on the Royals or some shit. Peep Jorge's career stats here.

This will proabably be the only positive Yankee post I ever post until Jeter retires. What, are you surprised I have a soul and like Derek Jeter? Me too.

LEGO Taking Heat for "Friends" Line

So a company near and dear to every dudes heart, LEGO, is taking shit for a supposedly sexist new line they came out with.

From Newser:

A new line of Legos made especially for girls just doesn't stack up for critics who complain the Lego Friends' line is needlessly gender-biased, reports the LA Times. With bright colors, stylish clothes, and slim female figurines, Lego Friends is facing online petitions and strong words from the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals. The new Legos are "devoid of imagination and promote overt forms of sexism," complains the association, and send girls a message "that being pretty is more important than who you are or what you can do." 

The Denmark-based toy company, however, says it is only responding to customer demand. "We heard very clear requests from moms and girls for more details and interior building, a brighter color palette, a more realistic figure, role play opportunities and a story line that they would find interesting," says one Lego exec, who says that the Friends line was not just for girls. "We know that many girls love to build and play with the wide variety of Lego products already available."

Look, I know girls who played with LEGOs back when there was just plain old blocks. But you can't blame them for trying to take some marketshare away from things like Barbie and shit. What's more fun playing with Barbies or building a huge-ass castle and then creating a massive battle that takes all afternoon and then at the end you just smash it. I'll take number two.

Is this sexist?

Why do women think toys marketed to them is sexism? And the eating disorder group coming out at LEGO is ridiculous. I can think of 10,000 things that make women feel more pressure to be skinny than stupid shapely LEGOs. Goddamnit leave my childhood go-to company alone freakin' assholes. They are just plastic blocks.

Or is this sexist?

I mean remember back in the day when a boy would play with LEGOs and girls would get those plastic play house things? What were the varieties of those weird things? There was a kitchen with fake food, and a play-vacuum, how motherfucking sexist is that? LEGOs teach problem-solving and shit, the other stuff just taught being a housewife. I got your back to the death LEGO guys, fuck the haters.

Nice Shot Bro

So this hustle play turns into a sick trick shot real quick.



Only problem is the dude sinks it for the other team. I don't know if that alone can diminish the ridiculousness of the shot. I mean dude is about to eat it in the stands and just reflex tosses that bitch behind him. I just hope they didn't lose by two.

Humpday Hotty: Cassie Culter

She's a model who has been in Maxim SI and on several websites. She is hot and that's all we give a fuck about on Humpday now isn't it?

Sweet Jesus

From NY Daily News:
She’s strutting for two!

Brunette bombshell Alessandra Ambrosio showed off her baby bump in Sao Paolo for the Brazilian fashion line Colcci.

The 30-year-old model, best known as one of Victoria’s Secret’s “Angels,” looked smashing at five months pregnant, wearing tiny shorts and short skirts to show off her long legs but looser fitting tops and dresses to accommodate her growing belly.

Ambrosio was all smiles as she walked the catwalk in sky-high red stiletto heels, with matching lipstick and nail polish.

“Two and a Half Men” star Ashton Kutcher sat in the front row and clapped with approval upon seeing his friend take the runway.

Still hot, but come on man

Alright I mean I don't byt this whole "pregnant glow" bullshit. Only fucking Ashton Kutcher claps for bitches walking the runway about to pop out a fucking kid backstage. I mean other than that, keep that shit under wraps. I don't want to sit in Brazil high on pure coke and slugging down martini's just to see a pregnant chick walk out in front of me. So unsexy.

Snoop Calls Wiz Stoner of the Year

From High Times:
Who will be the HIGH TIMES Stoner of the Year? Snoop Dogg - who won the prestigious award in 2002 - thinks Wiz Khalifa has earned the high honor.

During a HIGH TIMES photo shoot in Hollywood, California Snoop made a spontaneous announcement, nominating Wiz for Stoner of the Year. Do you agree with Snoop? Should Wiz take home the famous bong throphy?

Find out who will win Stoner of the Year at the HIGH TIMES Medical Cannabis Cup in Los Angeles, California – February 11-12, 2012.

Don’t miss the exclusive HIGH TIMES interview with Snoop and Wiz in the April issue of HT (on newsstands February 14). And, look for Snoop and Wiz in their new movie Mac & Devin Go to High School in theaters this February.




Damn, for Wiz getting the nod from Snoop, the king of the rapper stoners is a pretty big deal. He has brought marijuana to the forefront of the popular rap scene in a huge way. Kid Cudi has too no doubt, but as far as popularity and shit I think Wiz has him beat. Either way I think he will win it for sure.

Gotta teach Wiz to cover them red eyes Snoop

What's this about a Wiz/Snoop movie? I don't even know what to think about this shit. Let's hypothesize: Snoop Dogg is the old OG mentor. Wiz goes back to high school to finish up school or something. Marijuana may be a major part of the movie. I'm just going out on a limb. I'll see that shit for sure though. Maybe Snoop and Wiz are creating a multi-million dollar rap/movie duo right before our eyes.

Series Review: Trailer Park Boys

Trailer Park Boys is a show about guys similar to stoner college kids. They get shit-faced and high and come up with money-making schemes. And they live in a trailer park. Every season starts with the two main characters getting out of jail.

I don't like to review shit because then people disagree of whatever but I will tell you a few things. The Canadian accents and characters in this mockumentary are hilarious. I started watching the show two weeks ago on Netflix and last night I finished the 7th season. Give it a try, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Oh and I haven't seen the movie they made either but I've heard it is just a condensed version of the show. Who the fuck knows. If it is it's funny so Netflix that shit.

Nice Swing Bro

Guitar Swing Gone Wrong

Damn dude, maybe you should practice that bitch a few more times before you give it a go. I mean what the fuck bro. Just quit the guitar, maybe even life. I'd say they are the Loser of the Week if it wasn't a Monday at 2 o'clock. Smart idiots get their retarded video on around Thursday, you gotta think ahead my dude.

Bye bye JoePa

Over the weekend former Penn State football coach and rapist protector Joe Paterno died. And so of course the reactions around the country were varied, from Penn State tributes, to the more negative, the picketing of JoePa's funeral by a Baptist church.

From Newser:
Joe Paterno's death caused, to put it mildly, mixed reactions: The Hollywood Reporter has a roundup, and it includes everything from George HW Bush's glowing remembrance of the Penn State coach to this zinger from a Late Show writer and producer: "Will there be a moment of silence for Joe Paterno, to honor his silence when he discovered children were being attacked?" But the most extreme reaction came, of course, from those paragons of understatement, the Westboro Baptist Church.

Pastor Fred Phelps' daughter, Margie, announced on Twitter yesterday that the church would picket Paterno's funeral, TMZ reports. "'Penn State Penn Rape' rings in Joe Paterno's ears in hell. He partook of sin for fame & fortune. Worth NOTHING to him now. #PicketFuneral," she tweeted. Another gem: "Stop pimping out your kids to raping coaches @CollegeFootball! WBC must picket Paterno funeral."

What pedophilia?

Now we will begin to see how history will treat Joe Paterno. Has his previous record of victory in college football overcome the shame of the last year? Who knows, but all I know is that in my mind his lack of action within a scandal that affected untold numbers of children takes away anything positive he may have done in his life. Sure building a sick football program is cool, but pulling a Catholic church and overseeing essentially what was a rape farm at Penn State is beyond disgusting. I'm all for respecting the dead, but let's not forget that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Joe Paterno was god at Penn State, and his best friend was a rapist.

Men's Lacrosse Players go Hard

Here we go, an NCAA report about drug use has lacrosse players reigning champions of drug-addled collegiate athletes.

From Bloomberg:

Since the last survey in 2005, college athletes have increased their use of drugs including alcohol (83.1 percent, up from 77.5 percent), cigarettes (15.5 percent from 14.6 percent), marijuana (22.6 percent from 21.2 percent) and spit tobacco (17.4 percent from 15.7 percent). 

Men’s lacrosse players led the way in drug use by a wide margin among specific teams.
The survey found 48.5 percent of lacrosse players used marijuana, ahead of soccer players at 29.4 percent and wrestlers at 27.7 percent. Football players were sixth, at 26.7 percent, and men’s basketball players were ninth at 22 percent. 

Narcotics Use
Meanwhile, 9.7 percent of lacrosse players said they used cocaine compared to 3.8 percent of ice hockey players and 3.7 percent of wrestlers. Football players were sixth, at 2.3 percent, and men’s basketball players 10th at 1.2 percent. 

Lacrosse players reported the most narcotics use, with 10.8 percent claiming they used them in the previous year, ahead of wrestlers at 6 percent and football players at 4 percent. Men’s basketball players were 10th at 1.6 percent. 

Alcohol use by lacrosse players (95.0 percent) was topped by ice hockey players (95.5 percent), with golfers third at 90.9 percent. Football players were ninth at 82.9 percent and men’s basketball players 10th at 74.5 percent. 

Lacrosse players finished second to golfers in the use of cigarettes, with 32.2 percent saying they had smoked in the previous 12 months, compared to 33.3 percent of golfers. Tennis finished third at 22.6 percent. 

Well we all knew it but here's the proof. Lacrosse and hockey players party down. I love golf showing up in third for boozing and first for cigarettes. Probably because smoking a pack a day will still let you walk the fucking course as opposed to real sports where dudes have to like, run.

Care for a Natty bro? Some coke maybe?

I think the biggest losers in this report were football players. I mean dudes have to be in ridiculous shape, but soccer players came in second at pot-toking and no one runs more than them. Step your shit up football guys do some blow for christ's sake.

Smart Tampon Use

From the Smoking Gun:
JANUARY 18--Armed with flaming tampons--yes, flaming tampons--two young Pennsylvanians attempted to blow up a vehicle after severely vandalizing it, according to police.

The bizarre January 7 incident outside a bar in Metal Township resulted in the arrest of Patricia Deshong, 25, and Quentin Deshong, 22, on a variety of charges, including attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief.

According to State Police troopers, the Deshongs seriously damaged a 2006 Ford Fusion, which had its windshield and windows either cracked or broken, was covered with dents, and had blood on the front passenger seat. The car’s hood was also open and various hoses had been disconnected.
The Deshongs are pictured in the above mug shots.

As for the flaming tampons, a probable cause affidavit notes that investigators “discovered that the gas cap was removed and tampons were used to possibly ignite the gas tank." Additionally, “Tampon was used in the engine compartment where the oil fill cap is located.” Since “ashes were at the gas cap area and the oil fill cap area,” troopers concluded that the tampons had been set ablaze at each spot.

Using a tampon in the gas tank to blow a car up? That's some smart shit. Just dunk it in and light the string, it's fucking genius. That's some No Country for Old Men type shit. Look at those two gems, they look real fucking smart and even they can come up with badass ways to blow up your car. It's a scary world we live in.

Sometimes Shit Works

So all the hype yesterday about websites shutting down to protest two anti-piracy bills worked, go figure. Usually when Google is against something, it magically goes away.

From Dailymail:

U.S. Senators have publicly withdrawn support for the two controversial anti-piracy bills that prompted Wikipedia and thousands of other websites to shut down for 24 hours.


A total of 18 representatives said they no longer approved of the SOPA and PIPA bills that critics say would allow U.S. Congress to implement draconian laws to police the internet and combat piracy.


It means yesterday's protest, supported by Google and Facebook's Mark Zuckerburg, has had a startling effect, with one of the Senators who initially sponsored the bill now backing down.

Florida Senator Marco Rubio, who co-sponsored the controversial 'Protect IP' - PIPA bill, urged for more caution.

He said: 'Congress should listen and avoid rushing through a bill that could have many unintended consequences.'


On a normal day, 100 million web users would use Wikipedia, wanting to know everything from the height of Mount Kilimanjaro to the birth date of Charles Dickens.
But yesterday they were met with a message which began: ‘Imagine a world without free knowledge.’

Following the 24-hour blackout the website went back online at 5am this morning.
Wikipedia, Google and many others, including eBay, Facebook and Twitter, are challenging the Stop Online Piracy Act and Protect Intellectual Property Act, which are being taken through the U.S. Congress.

Wikipedia today sported a 'thank you' banner at the top of its page, with organisers claiming more than 162 million people had seen the blackout.
So many people logged on to the websites of Senators that several crashed.
A message on the site said: 'The Wikipedia blackout is over - and you have spoken.
'More than 162 million people saw our message asking if you could imagine a world without free knowledge. You said no. 


'You shut down Congress's switchboards. You melted their servers. From all around the world your messages dominated social media and the news. 

Saves the day again

So the people have spoken. Isn't it cool when democracy works? This is how our democracy has changed since the old days. Now people are concerned about online rights more than real ones, and when companies make an issue affect them (Wikipedia shutting down) then people get pissed. Make the issue real to people and they do act. Now if we could only band together with such passion for anything besides our right to steal each others stuff on the internet.


And college kids everywhere breath a sigh of relief that Wikipedia is back.

Websites Protest with Blackouts

From NY Daily News:
So where did Wikipedia go?

That’s a question millions of people are asking this morning as they find the popular online encyclopedia has gone dark.

Wikipedia, Craigslist, Reddit and other websites have blacked out in protest against two anti-piracy bills in Congress — the House’s Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), and the Senate’s Protect IP Act (PIPA) — that are pitting the entertainment industry against the tech world.


The bills were designed to stop piracy of copyrighted music, movies, and television shows. But critics including Google, Twitter, and some of the original architects of the Internet itself, say the legislation could censor the Internet, hobble online innovation and change what made the Internet what it is today.

Here’s our breakdown of what it all means.
JUST WHAT ARE SOPA AND PIPA?

Simply put, they would give copyright holders new ways to punish websites that host pirated content.
Both bills originally empowered copyright holders to request orders that would block access to foreign websites accused of hosting pirated content.

That means that users within the U.S. would essentially see an error message when they try to visit that website, though users in other countries would still be able to visit it. This provision has been removed from SOPA pending "further examination," though it's still included in PIPA.

SOPA also requires search engines to delete links to offending websites from their search results, while PIPA does not.

Look at least big websites are stepping up to the plate on this shit. I mean I thought that I'd fucking be talking about this shit and no one would even know. But with Wikipedia and Craigslist doing it you know shit is serious. I mean at least you know pedophiles and college kids are losing out on this PIPA SOPA shit.



I mean look I'll be honest, I'm probably going to get some heat if this shit goes through. I mean look, I stole this.

I'm fucked

Humpday Hotty: Katrina Bowden

So apparently this chick is on 30 Rock or some shit. But all I have to say is that ass could melt steel. Like your dick doesn't stand any kind of chance. That's a first round KO right there. I didn't even know who this chick was until my girlfriend showed me her in Maxim, and damn that ass is art.

Dude Guesses Donkey Punch on Jeopardy

Nice try glossing over that "Donkey" answer Trebek. Dude obviously know whats up.

Attention Whore on Jay-Z's Nuts

From the Smoking Gun:
JANUARY 17--In a blatant attempt to capitalize on the birth of Jay-Z’s and Beyonce’s daughter, a New York City designer has filed an application to trademark the baby’s name so that he can place it on an assortment of children’s clothing.


On January 11--four days after Blue Ivy Carter’s birth--Joseph Mbeh filed an application with the United States Patent and Trademark Office seeking a mark for “Blue Ivy Carter NYC,” according to USPTO records. The application by Mbeh, 35, covers “infant, toddler and junior clothing” including dresses, skirts, sleepwear, and undergarments.

Mbeh’s trademark application was filed without consent or knowledge of the infant’s famous parents. The application, which cost Mbeh $325, was filed by Patricia Elie, a Queens lawyer.

This guy?

In his USPTO filing, Mbeh contends that he has been using the “Blue Ivy Carter NYC” name since “at least as early as 01/09/2012,” two days after the child’s birth at Lenox Hill Hospital in Manhattan.

I got this guy figured out. Attention whoring. Get Jay-Z and Beyonce's attention with this shit and then maybe Beyonce looks at the baby clothes you are selling, maybe she likes something and invests in your company. I see that angle.

Unfortunately the other way it could go down is Jay-Z calls up a homie of his from back in the day and they kick in your door and then you change your company name real quick. I don't know if I'd take that risk but maybe this guy is that rare attention-whoring genius. Or maybe he's an idiot.

E-Ballin'

From NY Times:
Five men believed to be responsible for spreading a notorious computer worm on Facebook and other social networks — and pocketing several million dollars from online schemes — are hiding in plain sight in St. Petersburg, Russia, according to investigators at Facebook and several independent computer security researchers. 

The men live comfortable lives in St. Petersburg — and have frolicked on luxury vacations in places like Monte Carlo, Bali and, earlier this month, Turkey, according to photographs posted on social network sites — even though their identities have been known for years to Facebook, computer security investigators and law enforcement officials. 

One member of the group, which is popularly known as the Koobface gang, has regularly broadcast the coordinates of its offices by checking in on Foursquare, a location-based social network, and posting the news to Twitter. Photographs on Foursquare also show other suspected members of the group working on Macs in a loftlike room that looks like offices used by tech start-ups in cities around the world. 

Beginning in July 2008, the Koobface gang aimed at Web users with invitations to watch a funny or sexy video. Those curious enough to click the link got a message to update their computer’s Flash software, which begins the download of the Koobface malware. Victims’ computers are drafted into a “botnet,” or network of infected PCs, and are sent official-looking advertisements of fake antivirus software and their Web searches are also hijacked and the clicks delivered to unscrupulous marketers. The group made money from people who bought the bogus software and from unsuspecting advertisers. 

Remember back in the day when people didn't even know what a hacker was? Now it's like they are some kind of new celebrity. Between Anonymous and these Koobface guys motherfucking scammers are all the rage.


Yesterday I had to fucking get a trojan off my little sister's computer and these dudes were all over her shit. I mean like pop-up fake virus scans, the works. Shit is such a pain in the the ass to get off but who the fuck doesn't rock a firewall and shit? Fucking rooks.

That's why these dudes use Facebook to fuck people, people who are computer retarded still have Facebook and shit they'll click on anything you put in front of them saying it'll help them. Idiots.

Who is going to fuck with this dude?

Maybe now that these dudes are all over the internet and shit they'll get arrested. Oh wait I forgot no one gets arrested in Russia unless you talk shit about my man Putin. 

Oldest Trick in the Book

From Dailymail:
Excitedly unwrapping her Christmas present, Sundeep Sandhu was delighted to discover her husband Mark had bought her an Apple iPad2.

But her joy soon turned to disbelief when the in-demand tablet computer turned out to be a slab of clay.

Mr Sandhu was one of up to ten people in the Vancouver area who bought an iPad2 only to discover modelling clay inside the gadget's sealed box.


It is thought the conmen paid for the iPads in cash, removed the devices and replaced them with clay, then resealed the box and returned it to the shop for a cash refund.

The counterfeit tablets were then put back on the shelves and sold to unsuspecting customers.
Elliott Chun, a spokesman for Future Shop, said: 'Customers don't expect to receive this kind of product from Future Shop, so it's a very serious matter and something we are addressing right away for anyone who has been impacted.'



This isn't a half-bad scam huh? Buy an iPad, make a mold of it or some shit and just make a clay mothefucker and return it. Then this dude gets punked when he gets the clay one.

Here's my clay iPad

Motherfucking disappointment of the century. You take that thing out of the box and the confused look when this guy finds the clay slab must have been priceless. Most expensive piece of clay ever purchased. I love it.

American criminals are always in the media for doing dumb shit, this unknown Canadian is a pretty smart criminal. We salute you, smart scam clay iPad guy.

Hold That Puff in Smokers

Thanks to my boy Jared for showing me this shit, I love it.

From Takepart:
Breathe easy, tokers. Smoking marijuana in moderate amounts may not be so bad for your lungs, after all.
A new study, published in this month's Journal of the American Medical Association, tested the lung function of over 5,000 young adults between 18 and 30. After 20 years of testing, researchers found some buzzworthy results: regular marijuana smokers (defined by up to a joint a day for seven years) had no discernable impairment in lung activity from non-smokers. 

In fact, researchers were surprised to find marijuana smokers performed slightly better than both smokers and non-smokers on the lung performance test. Why? The most likely explanation seems to be that the act of inhaling marijuana—holding each puff in for as long as possible—is a lot like a pulmonary function test, giving marijuana smokers an edge over their cigarette smoking counterparts.

We're gunna sit here while you boys smoke the whole bag

That's what the fuck I'm talking about. For years people have been saying "oh well since you hold in the smoke longer when you smoke weed it hurts you more than cigarettes." How come no one ever asked the question "why don't you try holding in tobacco smoke and see how that goes?" Just the fact that you can hold the smoke in from weed when you can't with cigarettes tells you something about the two.

Finally people are starting to understand that saying that weed is worse for you then cigarettes is idiotic. I mean there are so many chemical additives in cigarettes it's not even funny. Seems like the misinformation but be starting to turn to some truth.

Warren Buffett shows no love to Kim K

Smart people with money to make don't pay attention to Kim Kardashian, and Warren Buffett proved it in an interview with Time.

From Time:
So, for inquiring minds, here’s what Warren Buffett had to say to TIME about Kim Kardashian.

“I’ve seen her name, but I wouldn’t be able to tell what she does but put her name in the paper,” he says. He didn’t offer an opinion on Kardashian’s particular financial situation, but Courage Campaign says she made more than $12 million in 2010 and paid a tax rate only 1% higher than a middle-class Californian.

Warren fucking Buffett calling it like it is. What do all these fucking celebrities like Kim Kardashian do? Kim Kardashian may be hot, true. But where did her career come from? The Ray J sextape? That is the basis of a real strong career Kim.

Her entire career started because she is hot and a rapper made her make a sextape with him. I mean really Ray J should be getting royalties off that ass since he started her out. Not that I give a fuck. Her talent is to look good, and she'll do it well until she turns 40, then she'll slip into meth addiction and no one will give a
 fuck.

Smart dudes don't give a fuck about Kim Kardashian

Oh and if she really only pays a 1% higher tax rate than a "middle class" Californian than no fucking wonder the state is bankrupt. Get your taxation on Cali come on man.

China Flips Shit over iPhone 4S

From NY Times:
BEIJING — The introduction of the Apple iPhone 4S in Beijing turned ugly Friday morning when Apple failed to open its flagship store and a frustrated crowd responded by pelting the store’s gleaming glass walls with eggs. 

Apple said in a statement that it had temporarily suspended sales of all iPhones at its five mainland China stores for the safety of customers and employees. The phones will still be offered online, through Apple’s official partner, Unicom, and at authorized resellers. The statement did not say when Apple stores would resume selling the iPhone 4S. 

Demand for iPhones in China far exceeds supply, which has spawned an army of scalpers who hire migrant workers to snap up products that the scalpers then resell at jacked-up prices. The horde of more than 1,000 people who gathered outside the store Friday in the Sanlitun district of Beijing Friday included organized teams of migrant workers, identifiable by matching armbands or hats. Some of the migrant workers said they were bused in and promised payment of 100 renminbi, or about $16, for purchasing a phone. 

Wary of unrest, police ordered the store not to open, according to one source familiar with the situation. Furious, some would-be customers threw eggs. Police dispersed the crowd and temporarily cordoned off the store. Those recruited by scalpers were particularly angry: some said the store’s closure meant that they would get only 10 renminbi, meant as a food allowance, after standing in line all night in freezing temperatures. 

Get your China game right, Apple

Isn't it funny how fucking much people love the iPhone? I mean you know these idiots all have iPhones already, but they have to have the new one right fucking now. Looks like China is breeding some very American-type people over there. Welcome to the fickle first world, China.

And Apple, get your China game right. 5 stores in all of mainland China? Step your shit up man there are like 2 billion Chinese people you can sell iPhones to every 3 months. Jesus Steve Jobs dies and all of a sudden Apple doesn't want to take advantage of the biggest consumer market on earth. Clowns.

Wu Tang FBI File Unsealed and is Awesome

So apparently the FBI has released the almost 100 page file of Old Dirty Bastard, and some of the crimes reportedly committed by the Wu-Tang put to doubt any claims that they aren't hard as shit.

If you want beef...

From NY Daily News:
Newly unsealed FBI documents portray Wu-Tang Clan members as more mobsters than musicians, linking the Staten Island rappers to guns, drugs and a pair of murders.

The eyebrow-raising portrait of the renowned nine-man rap crew emerges from the 93-page federal file on the late Russell Jones, better known as Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

According to an August 1999 report, NYPD detectives “have documented in their case files that the WTC is involved in the sale of drugs, illegal guns, weapons possession, car jackings and other types of violent crime.”

The documents also blame the Dec. 30, 1997, murder of a Staten Island man on an unidentified member of the group. The gun used in the killing was purportedly part of a weapons cache purchased by Wu-Tang members in Steubenville, Ohio.

“At least one of these guns ... has been identified as the murder weapon in the killing of Robert Johnson, aka Pooh,” the FBI document said.

“Johnson was an associate of the WTC who had a falling out with the group, and it is believed that his murder was ordered by someone within the WTC.”

The full document can be viewed here. It's shooting after shooting and gun purchase after gun purchase. It even talks about how they would set up their associates with production companies and fronts and shit.

The thing that this whole thing makes me think is how soft rappers these days are. I mean we all know the gang-banging stories of Snoop Dogg and Ice-T and 50 Cent. But I mean look at these fucking clowns rapping about shooting and shit now. Drake no one is worried you are going to "catch a body" because you've never shot a gun in your life. The Wu-Tang Clan is the hardest, and these documents prove it. Frum the slums of Shaolin.

Bath Salts are Stupid

From Dailymail:
A woman caught a flesh-eating infection after injecting bath salts into her arm at a party, it has emerged.

This caused the life-threatening condition necrotizing fasciitis to spread through the 34-year-old's upper body within days and led to surgeons having to cut away her arm, shoulder and breasts.

At first they thought she had a common skin infection and she was treated with antibiotics, which reduced her symptoms. However, she still had lingering pain at the site of a small red puncture wound.

She then admitted she had injected 'bath salts' two days before and when she was re-examined doctors realised she had developed a flesh-eating infection.

She underwent emergency surgery as doctors battled to stop it spreading across her whole body.
'The infection moved so fast that pink, healthy tissue was literally dying before the surgeons' eyes,' a university spokesman said.

'They had to keep removing tissue until they reached clear margins of healthy tissue to stop the progression of disease. 





What the fuck is up with this bath salt thing? Why the fuck don't people do real drugs instead? I mean at least if you tie off heroin you know what you're getting into. How the fuck do you end up injecting bath salts at a party?

I mean it sounds awful but this chick deserved what she got. Just think of the name "bath salts" what part of that seems like shooting it into your arm will be good? Honestly what the fucking fuck. Do coke or meth or something I mean that shit is cqalled a drug, it is supposed to get you high. As opposed to bath salts, which are made to sooth your ass in the tub. Do people not see the difference?

Mormon President

From NY Daily News:
Just 56% of those who identify themselves as being part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believe Americans are ready to elect a Mormon to the White House, according to a Pew Research Center survey released Thursday.

Front-runner Mitt Romney and former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman, who are seeking the Republican nomination, are both Mormons.

The survey's findings come as both candidates stump in South Carolina, ahead of the Jan. 21 primary where the evangelical vote is critical.

Some conservative Christians don't consider Mormons to be Christian at all, and there's plenty of often-unvoiced hostility toward Mormonism among some Christian sects.


The survey painted a mixed picture of how Mormons think the public perceives them. The majority — 62% — said the American people know little or nothing about their religion. Nearly half — 46% — said there is discrimination against their community.

HE BELIEVES A DIFFERENT LIE THAN YOU, RUN!

Who gives a flying fuck about what religion the president is? I mean Catholic, Muslim, Mormon who gives a fuck. It's all a bunch of bullshit anyway so what the fucking fuck? Who cares about the fact that Mit Romney's ancestors followed a con-man across the country into the deserts of Utah because some golden tablet told him to go there? No skin off my nose. 

My ancestors were drunk Irishmen who believed you could roll into a pew Sunday morning and be forgiven of everything you've done wrong because some Jews and Romans killed a carpenter back in the day. It's all non-sense, so I don't think it should fucking matter at all in our politics. Typical American politics focusing on what Mitt Romney's religion is instead of who is going to fucking fix our economy and shit. Bullshit.

And of course there is a high rate of discrimination and a lack of understanding about Mormonism, because Americans fear and hate what they don't understand. Land of the free and home of the ignorant.